Purple Goddess in Frog Pyjamas

settling in

2011-11-29T00:17:00.001-08:00

Our house, then rental we are currently living in, is beginning to look kind of awesome. As in: things have a place to be, they are put away, there are pictures on the walls and it looks like a home. The basement is the only room left with some organizing left to do, and it is really coming together. Our "Get 'Er Done" list is shorter and shorter by the day. we are finally at a place where I am feeling relaxed and like I can breathe and like okay, things are going to be a right now. And. We have even begun to decorate for the holidays. Home!

So we are ready to settle into a routine now.

Routine.

I have been lucky enough to manifest myself a wonderful group of women here who are fast becoming my friends. This is a group of mothers who are brought together by some commonality in parenting - but are diverse and wide in ways of being/doing, schooling, parenting, living. And I love that. One of the things I loved about living in intentional community was that there was such diversity in the parenting, but culturally we found commonality - children were treated with respect, compassion, love and caring. I have found the same in this group of women. And not just support for the children is here, no. There is so much support for the Mamas - plenty of Mama nights out together, and family events, and playdates. And so many shared interests! I have found personal growth advocates, knitters, crafters, folks who eat Paleo and traditional foods, sources for grassfed meats and raw milk, women to talk "woo-woo" stuff with.

One of these Mamas, who I know from our blogs and from our common parenting and such, her family has actually taken us under their wings, so to speak, and has basically been our host family for our transition into Portland. They have taken us into their home, they've given us tours, they've gotten to know us - they even invited us over to share Thanksgiving with them and their family. This Mama and I have become fast friends, and obviously she is one of my besties here already. It took me three years to have a bestie in BC - here, in two months I already have someone I feel I can confide in regularly. Playdates/Mama dates are in the works with other Mamas I have felt a connection to here already - and I have felt welcomed into the nights out with open arms - no awkwardness at all. It has been just awesome. I could not imagine a better welcome into a new city. Seriously.

One of the spontaneous upcoming events in this group is a Vision board party - next weekend, in fact. I generally like to make my Vision Boards on Aries new Moon, and get all that great 'ME' energy all infused throughout. And I can be flexible. It go me to thinking, this routine...I don't want my old routine back. I am in a new city, in a new chapter in my life. I am a blank slate, and I can CREATE what I want. SO what DO I want? I want to create a different kind o routine. A routine, yes, but one that is proactive rather than reactive. One that is infused with possibility and fulfilling my goals and living the life I WANT rather than living by default.

What an opportunity! Getting together with these awesome women and basking in his positive energy of creation, and creating for myself the routine I wish to have...making a list or a map or whatever I am called to do that incorporates all of the elements of this new routine I wish to create. Brilliant! And so I am joining this party. And building on these connections I am creating. I am SO excited about it. I already love it here. I am excited to see what else unfolds as we get to know more, see more, do more here.

stress and more stress

2011-10-29T22:57:00.000-07:00

Wow, so that whole month just went by, and there was so much packed into it, yet it didn't feel like much happened.

I was sick for almost all of it. Being in his different environment that my body was not used to just took it out of me. I tried and tried and I could NOT get my system to recover, because I was in a house hat was making me really sick. And the irony is, when I'd feel so horrible, rather than getting out of the house and getting fresh air, different air, non-stale air that was making me ill, I would just want to rest. And the only place I could rest was the place that was making me sick. So then I'd get sicker.

There was a point where I thought my cold was starting to abate, and then all of a sudden the next day I had this wheezing, couldn't-catch-my-breath cough. It came into me and settled in my lungs and did not seem to want to leave. And it was exacerbated by...this house. There is a ton of dust here - not my dust - other people's dust which I am not used to. There are some really powerful pet odor smells - both from the furniture and the liter boxes, and I am really sensitive to smells. And then, there is the mold. Because we are in a wet climate and there are lots of trees around and whatever else makes mold happen...I can smell it, and i gets into m lungs and is causing me to cough. Actually, it is getting into my lungs, causing asthma, and that is causing me to cough.

At one point when I thought that I might need to take my own life from the congestion and coughing, I called Sophya, my NAET practitioner, acupuncturist, doctor of TCM. I told her what was happening, told her that I wasn't getting better, only worse, and she did an energy balancing on me and sent me some chinese herbs and homeopathic medicine to take. I went to sleep that night, and the next day I woke up and felt significantly, noticably better. My whole body felt different, like there had been this huge shift, and all of a sudden I was able to break through the sick. Thank you, Sophya! The cough was still there, but the cold had left the building, and the cough was also lessening.

I've slept sitting up for the past two weeks to just be able to breathe at night, and for he most part of those two weeks, I'd be up doing nothing but coughing until 5-7 am, then I'd fall asleep for a few hours, then cough myself awake again. So yeah, being able to sleep through the night? An AMAZING gift.

And during all of that cold having and coughing and peeing myself because all of the coughing - oh yeah, that was the stuff....we were still looking for a place to rent. And Hubby was going on interviews. And we were doing our best to fin things to help Kiernen cope with being here and not having his stuff, and everything we own being in storage.

In conclusion, sick house + finding a place to rent in a dog eat dog rental market + finding a job + no having a space of our own or any sort of sanctuary + too much computer time = stressful month.

And it is drawing to a close. The herbs are here, I am taking them to treat my coughing/asthma. Kiernen loves the chickens here - I mean he really really loves them. Our friends are letting us stay with them while we wait for our place to be ready, and we really enjoy being with those particular friends. We did find a place, and we will be moving into it soon. Halloween is right around the corner. It is getting better.

Tomato Tea Cures

2011-10-09T16:09:00.000-07:00

I had a code id by doze.

It's a big bad one, and I've been looking for anything that will help me breathe...anything natural, that is.

I found this, and am trying it today.

Tomato Tea Cures:

'via Blog this'

Interestingly, tomato soup has been something I've ben drinking an insane amount of while I'm sick. So I have it on hand. I've been doing mostly liquids, because if I cannot taste food, what is the point of making my body try and digest it? I'm not feeling particularly hungry, anyway - my body just seems to want liquids. Tomato soup, orange juice, teas, water, chicken broth, smoothies - that's what's for me.

the unsettling

2011-10-07T00:36:00.000-07:00

When we arrived at the rural house, one thing was already in my consciousness: here we are again at yet another location where nothing is ours but what is in our suitcases - where everything here belongs to someone else. The weather has turned cold and we didn't pack for it - we each have one hoodie, one pair of tennis shoes, no boots. Okay, I have suede boots because I bought some in St. Louis. All of our clothing, our shoes, our belongings are still in storage.

Intellectually it didn't seem like it might be a big deal and yet...after returning from a month in someone else's home, no matter how wonderful that home was - it wasn't ours. And to come to a home that was again far away from everything we needed and also not ours...I really wasn't prepared for the difficulty of it for us. I suppose this might be one of those things that seems obvious in hindsight, and yet I cannot help but feel I ought to have seen this coming, at least a little bit. And maybe I did, and I didn't want to look at it. Sometimes that happens - I hear my intuition and I ignore it. I'm not sure it is my intuition, and I think I ought to push through - maybe i is my own worries or ears coming forth.

That's not to say there isn't good coming out of it, or that it is a terrible experience. We're warm and safe and we have this place to stay for a month while we look for our own space. And we've got it to ourselves, so we don' feel like we're overstaying or encroaching on someone else's space. We can just find out own routines and do what we like.

And there is just this feeling of displacement, of being unsettled, and it is getting to all of us. It can be difficult to figure out things like where to settle when Hubby doesn't have a specific job lined up yet - though he does have leads.

We've made some trips out to pick up some warmer clothing and mukluk boots for walking about in the chicken yard/in the rain outside. We've filled the fridge with groceries we like, and we've arranged ourselves in the space in a way that works for us for now. We have our bedding and the Xbox and our laptops and some toys for Kiernen. We are as comfortable as we are able to be in a space that isn't set up specifically for us.

And then there is the physicality of the space itself. There have been renovations happening here: carpets being pulled up, painting, floors going in. I imagine that has kicked up a lot of dust and brought up some old stuff into the air, because since I've gotten here I hav been becoming increasingly more congested. It doesn't help that I just spent the last month in St. Louis during a darn powerful allergy season, sniffing and nose running the whole time. Then to arrive here into a new environment and no immunity to whatever is here plus the stress of being so unsettled...

Now I have a cold.

"I allow my mind to relax and be at peace. Clarity and harmony are within me and around me. All is well. " (~ Louise Hay affirmation for colds)

We did take a brilliant tour, guided by my friend Bullet, through a list of neighborhoods in Portland. I am so grateful that we do have these great people here who are totally willing to take us under their wings and do things like let us stay in their home, pick us up from the airport, and be our tour guide through the whole city when I know there are other things they could be doing. It was neat to see so much of it and have some history, too - rather than just finding a place on our own and trying to figure out details about it by osmosis. Not to mention there are two kiddos in the mix for Kiernen to play with, too!

Photos to come when I get it together and take some - when it sops raining and my cold lets me do more than mope about in bed.

When his cold lets up a bit (it's got me down in bed now) I plan on joining OccupyPortland and showing my solidarity. We are the 99%!

OccupyWallStreet

those amazing animals

2011-10-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

We've been in the house we are sitting for three days now - can it really only have been three days? TIme seems to move slow when you have somewhere you really want to be.

I'll tell you about the house. It's about a 40 minute drive from Portland proper, outside of Vancouver, WA - just across the river from Portland. The drive to get here is up winding roads and around more winding roads and up even more winding roads (seriously, there are 9 miles of winding mountain roads) - until we arrive at a green mailbox at the end of a long gravel driveway. The driveway is surrounded by blackberry bushes and other plant life, and at the end, there is a ranch-style house, behind which is a woodshed, a penned in chicken coop, a tree-covered backyard, and two beautiful acres of wilderness (which we have yet to explore).

Our little kitty, Frenzie, had ben staying here for the month we were in St. Louis. She seemed to not remember us when we'd come the day before to get the tour - or maybe she was just in shock from the previous month being left in a place she'd never ben with three cats she'd never met and four people she had also never met. Oh, and a big black labrador. And did I mention they've been doing renovations to their home? So yeah, Frenzie was a little stressed out.

But the night we arrived, she slept in the bed with Hubby - her favorite person in the whole wide world - and it seemed to bring her out of her shell a bit more. The next day she actually came out a little bit and hung out in the rooms we were in. She seems to be okay with two of the three cats - they all pretty much ignore each other for the most part and that's just fine. And then there is Amira - who is apparently her nemesis, as they are both in competition for who can get the humans' affection.

Frenzie is the submissive cat in this relationship, as she is on Amira's turf - but her desire to be with us has been stronger than her need to flee from Amira's attacks. And since Frenzie gets to sleep with a human at night (I am too light a sleeper to let a cat sleep with me), Amira has gotten even more aggressive with her. (Take out the competition!) We've been having to break up interactions with them more and more.

But these are few and far between. We have errands to run in the day sometimes, plus there is no cell service out here, so for Hubby to make and receive work-related calls, he has to go into town. At least there is internet! Whew!

As I said, there are chickens here - part of what drew me to taking this on - other than my general insanity and inability to think things through ahead of time - was that we would have the opportunity to get to know what it is like to take care of chickens. I always say that I'd like to have them, yet I have no idea what that actually means, beyond eggs and cute chickens walking around and boking at things.

It turns out it is pretty easy - especially since Hubby has taken the job on himself. When he goes outside, the chickens immediately begin o follow him around - this is whether he is getting wood from the woodshed or taking out he trash or the compost or actually feeding them. They just follow him like he is the pied piper. He is smitten. Apparently the way to Hubby's heart is to give him attention and be cute. I'm pretty sure that if we had the space for it, he'd be fine with us having some sort of animal menagerie, because he just has the biggest soft spot for all things furry or feathered. And also, babies and children.

Back to the chickens. Hubby goes and lets them out of the coop in the morning and opens the gate so they can wander the property freely. They wander about the grounds all day, mostly staying relatively close to the house and in the backyard, with the occasional meandering out to the front yard. Then just before dark, they put themselves back in the coop and are there when he goes to close the gate. He feeds them, counts them and closes things up, and that's it. Occasionally there is straw to be cleared and thee are eggs to be gathered daily, but that's about it. Because there are two acres here, they have plenty of space to roam and eat insects, rodents, snakes - and they are pretty darn quiet, actually.

There are also horses who live next door, bu we have yet to meet them. Their people are apparently okay with us giving hem apples, so if this rain ever lets up, we will go and introduce ourselves with apples. And explore the property. For now, we're building fires and finding ways to occupy our days while we wait to find he house we will call ours.

home is where the heart is. where is mine?

2011-10-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

So now here we are in Portland. I made it, we're safe, it's completely surreal at this point, because we got used to being in St. Louis. We began to develop a rhythm there, staying with my in-laws, having been there a whole month. It was interesting, because those first two weeks, they were rather difficult actually - totally different to our home rhythm, having to drove so far to see anyone, figuring out how to coordinate, feeling like we needed to meet others' needs as well as needing to meet our own...

Then we'd go out and get a dose of our friends, it's like it just filled me up. The complications of everything else would fall away, and I'd just be wrapped in the experience of old friends. All this time has passed since I've seen many of them, and so much has changed in so many ways, and yet...it would be like no time had passed at all. The friendships, the closeness, the sarcasm, the ribbing, the love...all of it was there as if we'd never left. And there is just nothing like those kids of friendships - the kind where you've watched each other grow up, you've watched each other fall and screw up and learn and grow. And here we all are as adults - with kids and homes and families and responsibilities - and we all felt so proud of each other - look how far we'd come - look at all we've accomplished.

Meeting new friends in new cities is wonderful. There is so much diversity and wisdom and there are all of these common interests - and I love that. And even though there might not be all of that in old friends, there is...well, it feels like family. These people get me. They knew me when. They loved me then and they still love me, just because I am me. We may differ in our views, in our lifestyles, in our parenting...and it's all okay because we knew each other when - the love, the bond, the friendship is there, no matter how much time passes. It feels amazing to be accepted like that.

I am so glad we got to be in St. Louis for a month. I had some really difficult struggles while we were there, many of which are still happening. There is a big rift in my family of origin now that wasn't there before - or at least, I wasn't aware of it. And I had some really amazing times with my in-laws - they feel so much more like my family now, supporting us and loving us through these struggles and others that they've known about. And the times spent with friends - we get to see so little of our friends usually on our trips to St. Louis - most of our time is spent with family. To see all of these wonderful friends again that we've only seen on Facebook for so many years - it was a gift I'll cherish for a long long time. To feel that much love, to receive and give that many hugs, to be welcomed back with open arms and so many, "So when are you moving back here?"s....

It did make me wax nostalgic. What would it be like to return after all these years? The city itself has changed so much - it's grown up and taken pride in itself. There is still an angry edge to it - racial tensions run high there and it feels very divided in ways - and in other ways it has become more self-aware. It's as if St. Louis took a personal growth course and is beginning to find itself. It is greener, in all ways, and it is working toward more growth and self-love. People are finally proud to say they live there, and rightfully so. St. Louis has this amazing thing about it - its people. Nowhere have I found such a unique and dynamic blend of people so full of love and acceptance and sarcasm and edginess.

Choosing where to put ourselves is very difficult at times. We have a list of criteria which Portland meets beautifully, and has the potential to meet completely. Deep friendships take time to develop - we've got some developing here now, and the depth will just take time. And then in St. Louis there is family and friends - long-time friends who have known us through it all. It can be a conundrum, can't it?

In the meanwhile, we're about to go and house-sit for a month and be reunited with our sweet little cat, Frenzie. I suspect this will be a month of deep reflection indeed.

on flying (or my journey from panic to calm, part three)

2011-10-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

I may have gotten a bit overconfident. Yes, I get what my motion sickness / panic attacks are triggered by. Yes, I now have tools to soothe them both. So flying can happen with relative ease. Still not FUN for me per se, but doable - and because the flights I take aren't very long, I can travel to see my family without dread.

And. There are still things I am learning that I need to remember about flying - turbulence and circling of the plane still cause severe motion sickness - and when combined with having eaten food - real food - on the plane, equal my losing the contents of my stomach. three times. Good thing we had three bags to contain it! So gross.

The good thing is Kiernen, who was sitting right next to me, wasn't even aware that I was throwing up - though my husband certainly was, as he was taking the bags and handing me new ones. Also interesting was the fact that during this episode Kiernen kept talking about how he was feeling sick - and my hunch is that he is just that sensitive and aware of me, his Mama. Because when we got off the plane, he said he was feeling better (as I was) and on the next flight he just went to sleep and had no issues at all (nor did I).

We had zero layover on the next leg of the flight - just enough time to get from one plane to the next - and we boarded immediately. I ended up chatting to a woman next to me in line and she offered me some chips - for the salt - to help me not be sick again. I took her offer gratefully and then asked the flight attendant for some water before we flew. I ate nothing else that trip - just sipped some ginger ale, and I was actually fine.

Lesson learned: when flying, no food beyond fruit, which is easily digestible. Liquids only if possible. Maybe something salty to take the edge off - not much, though. I'll get it - it's all fine tuning...

my journey from panic to calm, part two

2011-09-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

I had made it through the plane ride here swimmingly. I had tools to handle it now - and I remembered to use them. NAET had given me my life back - and this visit was going fairly well, all things considered.

Hubby wanted to take us to play mini golf - to have a family day, just the three of us. We'd been doing so many social things and running here and there trying to meet up with folks - he just wanted us to have family time. He'd found this coupon for half off or something at a place called St. Louis Mills. Now, I don't know if this is the biggest mall ever built, but it is certainly the biggest indoor space I have ever been in - and the biggest mall in St. Louis. This place is huge. It gives me a sense of what Mumbai must be like. Note: I will never, ever go there. I simply cannot handle the thought of an entirely indoor world. I NEED fresh air and open sky for my well-being.

Back to mini-golf. We get to the Mills and there is a train that goes halfway around the mall. Kiernen and I decide to ride it. Inside the train is small, and it is difficult to see the mall when we're inside it, but I do notice that the ride is quite long - halfway around the mall takes a good 20 minutes, if I remember correctly (and it is likely that I don't given the rest of the day). We return to the starting point and begin to walk around the mall to find the mini-golf part, which is apparently indoors. As is the go-kart track. And the rock climbing. We find the mini-golf, which is all glow-in-the-dark and freaky, and there is spooky music playing that has Kiernen say, "NO way, this is too scary," and to be honest, I was glad. We decide to see what else there is to offer, and within minutes of walking around the place, I am feeling the familiar body temperature rise, the sweating, the nausea, the panic, and the claustrophobia.

Surprised, I let Hubby know that I have to get out of there right now, and I go outside. And I breathe. And the panic goes away. I am restored. Hubby and Kiernen came outside shortly after - Kiernen might have liked the arcade, but Hubby really wanted a day we all spent together - not me outside while they stayed and played.

Fast forward to yesterday, where our friend had invited us to come and hang out of his Dad's houseboat. It stays docked in the Marina, while they take the Sea-Doo out for rides when they want to move in the water. This sounded doable to me, because having not had experience with this, I didn't quite grok that a boat docked in a marina is still in the water, and this means it is subject to the movement of the water, which translates to gentle rocking. Oh.

I take my motion sickness medicine - I'm not going to ruin the fun for my boys just because I cannot hack the boat movement - and there is a dock, and there is land nearby I can ground on if need be. I feel me body temperature start to rise when I've been on the boat for awhile, so I breathe and I tap, "The motion of the boat," for about two minutes. I am completely fine for the rest of the day and I enjoy our visit to the boat - it is even fun! I actually like it! And because we've never been on a houseboat before, everything is new and interesting and fascinating. It was a brilliant day.

And while the boys are off in the Sea-Doo (I'm not that brave yet with my motion sickness), I walk and reflect and I realize something. What I thought was just motion sickness all this time might well have been panic attacks. It may well be my limbic brain remembering the incident on the plane, and feeling a similar feeling (the actual motion sickness), immediately triggering fight or flight and going into panic. So all those times I thought it was JUST motion sickness (body temperature rise, sweating, migraines, nausea), it was actually my having panic attacks triggered by my limbic brain having that body memory on the plane.

And because I am no longer having many of those symptoms, I am able to see THAT connection - it all started on the plane - and the motion sickness can be brought down to just that - motion sickness. Which can be handled by my just taking the motion sickness pill. It is even possible that I don't need the pill itself, and baby steps - I'm not quite ready to let go of that particular crutch just yet. But just knowing those were panic attacks and being able to separate them because of the symptoms from the actual motion sickness allows me to be able to handle them much more easily. Ah, body temperature rise and sweating means breathe and tap, because this is a panic attack. Breathe and tap, "This situation," for less than two minutes, and I am fine.

Beautiful.

my journey from panic to calm

2011-09-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

I learned something about myself this visit. Well, I probably learned several somethings about myself, and this one stands out.

Many years ago I was flying home to Vancouver via Bellingham, WA. It was in winter, and the weather had turned unexpectedly snowy and cold, causing difficulty on the ground and in the air. I was still nursing Kiernen at that time. The plane, because of the weather, was unable to land in Bellingham, and while waiting for some kind of okay, began to circle in the air. We were also experiencing turbulence because of the air currents, and the stewardesses were also told to sit down and strap in. I was prone to motion sickness anyway, and because I had been nursing Kiernen on the plane, I was feeling pretty dehydrated.

As the plane circled, I grew increasingly more ill, and I began to vomit. I was hitting the call button over and over, and because they'd been told not to get up, they weren't answering me. Finally while I was throwing up, I got one of them to come and I told her I was dehydrated and needed water. She seemed fairly reluctant to help me, then she brought me the smallest cup of water. I drank it down and pushed that button again over and over, finally getting her to come again. I told her I've been throwing up, I am severely dehydrated, I NEED water - not a tiny cup, but WATER. (Really water won't help in those situations - what I needed was something with electrolytes, but they had nothing like that on the plane and I knew it). Finally she brought me the whole bottle of water they were using to pour from - it was a huge bottle.

I cannot remember a time when I have ever been sicker in my life. It was horrible. And Kiernen and I were alone on the plane. Hubby had returned on an earlier flight because he had to return to work - and Kiernen and I had stayed a few days longer. Even though he was only two, Kiernen instinctively knew to leave me be and not ask me for anything - he could tell something was wrong with me, and he sat quietly, just watching me, while I was throwing up and all this was happening on the plane.

After that plane ride my motion sickness got much worse. In any situation that I'd have regularly felt motion sickness, it would get extreme very quickly where it hadn't before. Symptoms would include my body temperature rising quickly, sweating, feeling nauseated very quickly, a strong sensitivity to odors, and feeling claustrophobic. I'd get migraines. This would happen in cars, on rides, sometimes in big spaces where there was a lot of extra stimulation, like Costco, arcades, or malls, and especially, especially in planes. It became unbearable to ride in planes, even with all of the motion sickness medicine. The nausea would go away, but I still felt a rise on body temperature, a strong sensitivity to odors, and a feeling of claustrophobia (I might also mention that I am not claustrophobic otherwise).

I also began to have anxiety attacks in other situations - like social situations, for example, or as I said, in big enclosed spaces like malls or Costco or large department stores, or arcades. The migraines came on very easily in these situations, as well. I didn't know why. I didn't know what to do about it. I stopped going out as much, and I had to really be in a good space to deal with social situations.

Then Kiernen and I did the NAET treatments and all of that began to fade. I was again able to go out in public without worrying. The migraines went away. The motion sickness mostly went away. My panic attacks subsided. I could go to Costco. I could go to malls without freaking out. I could go out with friends. I could let someone else drive and I could ride in the back seat of the car. My world began to open again.

The test came when we got on the plane. I took my motion sickness stuff, and the plane ride was good - no nausea. There was a bit of anxiety, and as the plane took off, I remembered tapping my "gate points" - the top of my head and my upper chest - and breathing. So I tapped as I breathed, and I said something about the plane ride (I honestly can't remember) and I was fine. The whole plane ride. There was a movie in the back of my seat for me to focus on, and when we did begin to circle when it was time to land, and I felt my body temperature shoot up, I told myself I was safe, I breathed and I tapped, "This nausea," and I was fine. I felt just fine. I was AMAZED.

(continued in next post because this got long!)

ready to fly

2011-09-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

Apparently fall is upon us - not just here in St. Louis, but back home as well. It occurred to me as we were here that I left all of one pair of jeans unpacked and exactly one long-sleeved shirt. In our car in Portland is my hooded purple sweatshirt jacket...and this concludes our warm clothing until we unload our storage unit once we've got somewhere to unload it to. Luckily there are some awesome clothing swaps/thrift stores in Portland, And I already have friends my size who are quite stylish and frugal and can take me shopping. I guess I get some new additions to my wardrobe this year.

The money arrived in our bank account, and we got dollar for dollar in the currency conversion, so that was all good. I haven't written in awhile both because we've been busy doing things with friends and because I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and exhausted again. Yesterday I was under the weather and managed to spend the entire day in bed doing absolutely nothing...just watching TV and surfing the web. Okay, I did do a bit of smartphone plan research, but other than that, just nothing of use.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of driving almost an hour to get to anywhere we want to go, every other day or sometimes daily. I'm tired of everyone wanting us to go and do this or that with them and none of them offering to come out here to see us. Then they are disappointed when we cancel because it is just too much driving for us. I'm tired of not having our stuff around us, and our bed, and Frenzie, our little kitty. I'm tired of the rude drivers here and the smoking and the way people think they can speak to my son as though he is beneath them, rather than treating him like a human being.

I'm sad that I cannot be around my Mother and one of my brothers without feeling like it's no different than if I were 3000 miles away, because I am no longer included in their version of family. Except in email. I'm really sad about that - I feel like they are excluding me because I am far away, like I am just not a part of them anymore. My youngest brother and I have connected more this trip, though - I am very grateful for that.

I want to go home. It isn't that I haven't enjoyed being here - I really have enjoyed reconnecting with old friends and spending time with my in-laws and my youngest brother. Seriously. It has been great fun going to the zoo and to the Magic House and parks and shopping. And we're just ready to go home now. To begin our life in Portland. To be somewhere that is ours again.

make lemonade

2011-09-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

The Universe is raining "screw you" on us.

I got am email from my cousin last night saying that she'd received some paperwork for us (we have official documents sent to her house in our absence) that was requesting more identifying documents for our son, that I hadn't yet sent two. Except I've already sent them color copies of his birth certificate, his passport, his permanent resident card, and I think his care card. I'm not sure what other identifying documents for a 6-year-old there could possibly be - he already has more than any other 6-year-old I know. I'd call that a minor irritation, since I've already sent color copies of all of these twice, and black and white once.

But then today, I go to check our bank account, because upon checking it on Wednesday, it said the funds from the check for our house sale would be available today. Except it said that the funds had been reversed. Reversed? Of course I call to see what had happened, because this is all of the money we have in the world, and we do have bills to pay, like credit card and insurance.

When we sold our house in Canada, I went to the bank to consolidate the funds with our bank account, then take that money and transfer it into a US account. I wanted to wire the money, but the women at the bank insisted it would be much faster and better to take the funds in one check and deposit it into my account in the US - because if we wired the $ and somehow the funds didn't go through, or some such (because there would be a delay in the funds being in the bank and being wired). At any rate, they convinced us to take a check instead. Two women did, in fact - the teller I was working with and her superior. They spoke to me at length about why taking a check would be a better idea. Finally I figured they knew what they were talking about (being bank employees and doing this sort of thing much more often than I ever have). I even called my husband, told him what they had said and their reasoning, and he said okay, too. After all, they're the experts, right?

It's been 10 business days, at which point we were told the funds would be released to us. Except? Not. When I called to find out why, I was informed by our US bank that this "process" could take 6-8 weeks, because the funds are on hold by the originating bank. My husband calls the originating bank and finds out that because the original funds were Canadian and we wanted to transfer them to US, it had to go through other banks for some reason that still remains a mystery. Now, when the check was issued to me by these "experts", they said I should take it in US funds because our US bank would probably give us a better return in conversion. SO I did. See, I still believed that because they worked there (and one of them was a superior), they had some idea of what they were talking about. After all, I had never done this before.

Silly me. Our US bank suggested we ask the originating bank to stop payment on the check and then just go ahead and wire the money. Except according to them, it is halfway through "the process" and that cannot happen. As if "the process" were actually some physical act. It's just a bunch of numbers on different screens in different databases! It's a bank! how can they NOT have the power to stop their own "processes"?!?

The branch manager is supposed to call back later today and probably blow more smoke up our asses about why they cannot give us our own money for an indefinite period of time. And that it is ALL THE MONEY WE HAVE IN THE WORLD? I don't know how to even function right now, I am so upset. 'Upset' seems inadequate to describe my mental state right now.

Okay, you know what? I get it, #firstworldproblems.

I am happy that my family is all in good health and alive. I'm happy that we are in the midst of a lovely visit with our families right now, and we are in no danger of losing our home or something from this. I'm glad we decided to be here for a month on a visit and then housesit, so really, even if this does take 8 weeks, we don't have a rent or mortgage to pay and we don't lose our house or something. I'm really glad we have relatives who are not only willing, but offering to float us until those funds clear - including transferring money into our account so we can pay said bills. I'm happy that I've got this beautiful kid next to me who is wanting nothing more than to snuggle with me and be loved by me.

I've lived through the loss of my first child - I can get through this. It's only money, right? We're taken care of. We'll be fine. At least they haven't LOST the money - it's just being held indefinitely. I can breathe.

the city + friends = rejuvenated

2011-09-09T23:47:00.000-07:00

Today I decided it was time for us to go and visit my Mom, and conversations with one of my friends also ended up in us attending Shabbat dinner at our other friend's house. This used to be our regular routine when we lived here - Friday Shabbat dinner, then Sunday brunch with the same group of friends.

We were there, right back in the routine - only this time there were 5 young kids running around, and my brother with them, having a great time while the adults socialized and enjoyed a wonderful potluck meal. It was like we never left, only the city itself has grown - it has gotten greener and prettier and is more well taken care of. My mother's house and my friend's home looked different, too - renovations since we last visited, my friend had filled her living room with her photography business, the gardens have grown and taken on a life of their own.

It was beautiful - the city is closer together, more conscious, more of a community. My friends, my friends I've missed, just swept us right back into their lives, open arms, warm welcomes, hugs and laughter all around. The night ended all too soon - kids needing to go home to bed, it seemed - it felt like it ended so quickly after it began. But we will see them again for Sunday brunch, and there will be more time to play, to talk, to enjoy each other.

I feel SO MUCH BETTER! I am filled up again, with the love of good friends and the life of the city. Vast stretches of strip malls and perfectly manicured lawns just aren't for me - I need the grit and community and personality of the city or vast stretches of forests, oceans, and mountains to feel whole.

It feels so decadent and excessive here - the 5-lane highways, and so darn many of them! Vancouver has exactly ONE major highway for the whole of it, and there are two lanes each way - three when there is an HOV lane. Everything is close together and packed in tightly. Here it is all so spread out - it takes ten minutes of driving just to get to the closest anything - gas station, grocery store, anything. The nearest playground is a 20 minute drive from here. Strip malls and chain restaurants abound. It's a different world here. I'd forgotten just how different.

with just a little bit of melancholy

2011-09-08T00:48:00.000-07:00

So we've been here a few days now, and things have been good. My in-laws have a nice spacious home with plenty of space for all of us. They have beautifully carpeted floors, which Kiernen loves, and a Wii, and satellite TV in several rooms, including the one we're sleeping in. We've stocked the fridge with Trader Joe's food, Kiernen gets time with us whenever he likes, and he has even had kids to play with on a fairly regular basis now.

We've been out of what was our home for 8 days now. And yesterday and today it seemed to hit: we're far away from any place we call home. We don't really even have a home anymore, technically. Not until we get back and find ourselves one. So for all of us, really, there is a bit of feeling lost, like we're floating; in a stasis of sorts. And today I think Kiernen was really feeling it, as was I: we're homesick.

Kiernen was crying and crying that he missed his Xbox and his games, and I realized that he missed his home. We talked a bit about it, and I became aware that for all of us, there will likely be a mourning period. We lived in that house for 4.5 years, most of Kiernen's life. Of course he will be sad about leaving it, of course he will have a hard time in this transition. We're doing the best we can to make it go more smoothly for him, and it's not easy.

My brain has been sort of foggy and dazed for a few days now. This is a very different environment - carpeting, chemical cleaners and detergents, perfumes, processed foods...it is lovely looking but I'm starting to wonder if it affecting me. Yesterday and today a wave of sadness hit me, and it seems to be sticking. We went out today to get some fresh air. Everything is so spread out here, it is difficult to go anywhere without driving - so we end up being in cars or buildings all day, even though the weather has been beautiful for the past few days.

I've been feeling lost and dazed. Yesterday was the weirdest day - I felt like I wasn't in my body properly, and I kept doing really clumsy things - I opened my door too far and scratched someone's car door accidentally; I knocked over a lampshade trying to turn off the lamp; I opened a van door and ended up pinning my mother-in-law between the van and her garage shelves, and I couldn't make the door close again.

Also my mother-in-law accidentally drove out of turn and then stopped when she realized she was, letting another car go through. The three young girls in the car began screaming obscenities at her (us) - all three of them - and it was really weird - they were just shouting at her as loudly and nastily as they could even though she had stopped to let them go through. We both pretended we weren't fazed by it but I think we were both pretty affected - it was just surreal and not something I've encountered in a long long time - people on the West Coast just don't seem to do that.

We love visiting family, but this is not our home. We're eating way junkier food here, because even though I've bought healthy stuff, there is also a lot of junky stuff, and we keep eating it. We've even been snacking before bed, which we generally don't do - at least I don't. And I've been getting to bed WAY later than usual and sleeping late. Today when I woke up I just felt a little off and I went back to sleep for several more hours. I sort of feel like we're falling apart here, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Physically, I still have this gunk in my lungs, and even though I'm not coughing at night, I do cough every time I laugh or the air is too dry. Josh is still congested and wakes up all full of goo, and has been having sinus headaches. I know this will go away soon, I just feel like it has been with us for such a long time now. We usually recover much more quickly from things. Kiernen is fine physically, he just really misses his home a lot.

I think we miss our routine, too. Things are very different here for us, and we're having a hard time finding our flow, and I keep feeling like I'm not totally in my body or in my head. And right now, it's 2AM - I'm awake, feeling purposeless, like there is something I need to do but I just don't know what...knowing that actually I do have a short list of things to do before too much time has passed...but forgetting it during the day when there is time for me to do it.

Hopefully this will pass and my brain will return, because this foggy feeling, it does not work for me.

On the positive side, tonight was brilliant - we visited Hubby's best friend and his family - they're a great fit for us as a family, because we love the adults and the kids alike, all three of us - and every time we see them we fall right in line as if no time has passed at all, even though our kids have gotten significantly bigger and everyone has gained some gray hair. Being with them brightened my whole day - not just mine but Josh and Kiernen's as well - and it was a very fun night with mostly laughter and joy. For this I am so appreciative.

2011-09-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it. After a lovely visit with our dear friends in Washington, we managed to get ourselves on the road. Our plan (that word! It almost invites interference, no?) was to split off around Vancouver, WA, where I'd go to deliver our sweet kitty to the house we'll be sitting in October, and Hubby would go on to the storage locker to meet the movers and unload. Except we'd gotten a late start, so he had to call and let them know he'd be late.

I managed to find my location and drop off Frenzie (our wee cat) with relative ease - it was a bit of a drive off course, but the house is nice, and I recognized some of the family from the Life is Good Conference we'd attended earlier in the year. She will hopefully be acclimated to he house and the cats there by the time we return to house-sit in October.

Despite several wrong turns due to failed directions from Googlemaps and ongoing construction in Portland, Hubby managed to fine the storage unit. Eventually after asking directions three times, I managed to find it, too. Hubby played 3D Tetris with our stuff and the storage locker, assisted by the guys we hired to help him, and much later than anticipated, the locker was finally loaded.

I ought to add that when I finally did show up at the unit, Hubby said, "Oh, thank goodness, I didn't know if you'd make it!" Then because the guys agreed to stay later, he needed me to get cash. Well, having just entered Portland and not knowing where anything was, I was unsure how to accomplish this task. But my friend Hedy lives on an easy street to find, so after mentioning the name of the street in front of the guy assisting Hubby, I had directions and was on my way.

I showed up on her doorstep and I'm pretty sure the first word our of my mouth after hi was, "help!". Not only did Hed help me with the ATM location, she took me there and to Burgerville for food for them, then sat and waited with me for them to finish so Hubby could drop off the truck and we could return to her house and collapse.

And then we had a beautiful time visiting her family and seeing bits of Portland. We made a huge breakfast for everyone the next day, then she and I took the kids to the park while Hubby rested to try and feel better from the exhaustion and his cold. Then we found this fantastic vegan bakery and got Coconut Bliss ice cream for the kids and gluten-free treats for us. The kids got along swimmingly, watching TV and playing together - Hed's eldest and Kiernen were even snuggling up together on the sofa while watching - it was beyond cute. And when it was time to pack up and fly to St. Louis, he didn't want to leave them - he was quite happy in their home - as were we.

The flight was good: little TVs in the seats (with Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3), juice and fresh-baked cookies, and it was short. The Portland airport is just gorgeous! Very very shiny and clean and eco-friendly. So now we're here, in St. Louis. We had a lazy day today, followed by dinner with family. Tomorrow the boys are going on a hike with Hubby's best friend and his kids, and an ice cream social with family in the evening.

It's good to be back for awhile. It's good to be able to rest and relax. It's good to be around family.

the best laid plans....

2011-09-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

I had all of the details worked out for the move. I had all the right paperwork, I had the forms, I had everything we'd need for the move. I had the inventory of everything we own and values in triplicate. Triplicate! I had the import papers for the car, I had that EPA paper for the car saying it passed emissions. I had every box meticulously labeled. I had papers for our cat, saying she was in good health. I had papers saying we were bringing goods across the border. I had a list of random things we'd bought in the past year, in triplicate, because we'd read that they wanted to know what we'd purchased in the past year.

My son and hubby rode together in the 26' truck, along with out cat and everything we own except what was packed into suitcases and carry on luggage in our car, which I was driving. We pull up to the border - the sign says 10 minute wait. We walkie-talkie back and forth (because we don;t own cell phones) and decide to use the passenger lane, even for the truck, because the truck lane is completely loaded with trucks. As promised, we reach the actual border in 10 minutes.

I'm behind them in the car, so I watch the border guard talk with my husband for a few minutes, expecting him to say the truck needs to pull over to the building for inspection. Or that at least he has to go in and show the inventory of our stuff. But the guard waves him on and my husband begins to pull over toward the road instead. Wow, sweet, they're through! So fast, no hassle - rock on!

I pull up and show him my passport and say I'm with them. He asks if I'm importing the car, too. Yes, I say. He tells me to pull to the right by the building and go in to give them the paperwork. No problem, and I radio to Hubby to let him know I'm going in to give them the paperwork for the car. He says great, they'll be at the gas station filling up the truck. Great. I park, go in, am seen by someone immediately, and hand over my paperwork. I say, "oh, you also probably want the registration," at the exact second that my brain is showing me a picture of where said registration is. In the folder for "Auto license and registration" in the filing cabinet...which is in the truck. The one that just drove across the border and to the gas station several blocks from where I now stood.

Oh.

Um...

Right.

I delude myself, thinking no, it cannot be in there, it must be in the glove box of the car, right? So I go out to the car and search the glove box. Right. Not there, just as I actually knew but was pretending not to. So I try and radio Hubby to let him know. After all, these rockin' walkie-talkies we bought have a 23-mile radius! He can just open the truck, find the file cabinet, get the folder, then drive back to just before the border and meet me there! A quick walk across and we're good, no worries. A slight snag.

I radio him. No answer. I try again. No answer. I explain my predicament to the border guards who watch the cars, then let them know I'm going to walk to the gas station to get the paper I need. I begin walking there, and keep trying to radio Hubby to let him know what's up. I'm pretty sure he packed the file cabinet close to last, so I'm sure it is near the back of the truck. This shouldn't be too big a deal.

I am able to reach him as soon as I am away from the border building. I let him know of my missing registration and where it is. He lets me know that the file cabinet is, in fact, near the back of the truck. Oh. Well, we need the registration or no car, so he begins to unload the truck in the parking lot of the gas station while I keep walking toward them.

Right about the time he'd gotten a significant amount of our stuff offloaded from the truck, one of the lovely employees at said gas station came out to yell at him to move the truck, because "he was blocking the semis from getting in" even though the semis were driving around him just fine. When he explained his predicament, her response was, "Well, I know you've got all your stuff out here, but you need to move." She went back inside. He didn't move. She didn't return.

Meanwhile I was walking to the gas station, and Kiernen and I were radioing back and forth - which likely was keeping him occupied and out of his Daddy's hair while he unloaded the truck. Right when I got to the truck, Josh had unearthed the filing cabinet, I handed him the key I'd retrieved from my keyring before I left the border. The folder was retrieved, washrooms were used, orange juice was purchased, my poor exhausted Hubby finished reloading the truck (in record time, I might add - while washrooms and juice were happening). He took me close to the border and dropped me off, then went to retrieve a package and say goodbye at Security Mail where we've been receiving packages for the past 4.5 years.

Once I had the registration in hand, all I had to do was fill out a form and sign it, then the guard there entered something into the computer, got out an orange piece of paper, stamped it, handed it to me and I was on my way. It took all of 5 minutes, most of which was my filling out the form.

The moral of the story is: Keep your registration in your glove box! Or at least a copy of it. Because wow, the amount of time and effort expended after an already long and trying day (in which we ended up being 5 hours later then we'd intended leaving) was just...insane, really.

And there is appreciation: I appreciate that I purchased said walkie-talkies. This would have been much much more drawn out without them. I appreciate that I remembered that the key to the filing cabinet was on my keyring before I'd gone too far in walking toward the gas station. I appreciate the border guard letting the huge truck full of everything through with such ease. I appreciate only a 10 minute border wait.

I appreciate being able to stop here, at the Turners', and feel the connection and warmth and love of their home, and just be with them, even if only for a little while. I appreciate that there was a home-cooked delicious meal hot and waiting on the table for us when we arrived, even though we hadn't been able to call and give them a heads-up on what was happening with us. I appreciate this warm cozy bed to sleep in.

I appreciate all of our neighbors at Windsong going above and beyond in helping us load the truck, clean, clear things out, giving us shelter, feeding us, and making us feel so so loved. I appreciate that so many of them came outside as we left and saw us off. I appreciate the hugs and the tears and the family we have there. We really did make some beautiful connections there, and we will miss living next to our wonderful neighbors so much.

And now we're on to our next grand adventure. Well, after some sleep, anyway.

the news is good

2011-08-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

This isn't my photo. I borrowed it from the internet, from a page which incidentally has a pretty great article about packing for a move - all of which I followed on my own. Except #4. I did generally try to pack most of a room at a time, but my house is an open floorplan and some of the rooms run together, and mostly what I did was just pack the things we didn't use so much first, then packed what I use all the time last. Like now, almost everything in my house is packed, except in the office I've still got my PC and printer here on my desk.

And with #5, we're doing an inventory with approximate (or when we know them, exact) values of the items as well. We needed this for when we moved to Canada, so we are also doing it for the US. At the border if you come prepared with a list of everything you've got, I've found it's much less likely that they will need to take the time to verify said list - although they certainly have the right to should they choose it. Plus when we unpack,. I know where EVERYTHING is - and because I've got it on a sheet, I don;t even have to search around on all of the boxes - I can just find what I want on the sheet and then find that particular box. Even better, it's in Googledocs, so I can do a word search and find it even quicker on my laptop. Best of all worlds.

Also, we didn't purchase any boxes. We went around to dumpsters behind restaurants and department stores and got all of our boxes that way. As I mentioned before, asking at grocery stores and copying shops is a good idea, as well.

Our plans are ever-changing and solidifying at the same time. It turns out that we're going to house-sit for some new friends in Vancouver, WA - just north of Portland, about 40 minutes away. These same friends are going to go ahead and take Frenzie for us for the month of September, since we'll be there in October. That way she can get used to her cats, they can get used to her, and she won't be moving around so darn much like we will.

Since they won't be leaving until October 3rd for Europe, we went ahead and extended our visit to St. Louis to see our families by a week - we'll be flying back to Portland on the 1st now. So we'll have an entire month in St. Louis with our families - whee! That also gives us an entire month to find a place in Portland, if we need it - I'm all for getting in somewhere sooner rather than later, but the good thing is we will have time.

Because of us essentially being "homeless" for a month - as in, not our own beds/our own home, I've been thinking of ways to make the transition time easier for Kiernen. After all he is 6, and has lived in the same house since he was 18 months old. This is really pretty hard on him, because he doesn't want to leave - he and his father are both more like rocks that just want to be where they are, and I am more like a bird who wants to fly here and there and see what new adventures we can find. Only this bird does want to nest and roost once she finds just the right place in which to settle. I am so hoping that this is what Portland will be for us.

And beauty - Hubby's job has offered for him (as per his suggestion) to continue working for them for a month as a contractor - this means he will be paid hourly to continue working on the project they're working to finish, while they are also training his replacement who will eventually take over for him. Good for us, because it means at least some income while we're in transition and looking for other options.

Also good for us: we signed the papers for the sale of our house, and we got a good chunk more money than even my Hubby anticipated. He'd done some quick math about it, and I wanted to err on the side of caution, so I put the number at significantly less than he'd calculated. Then in the end, it was more than even his calculations. Awesome. This means that when we are ready to buy again, we'll have a decent down payment and lower mortgage payments.

The congestion I had is totally gone and my cough is finally seeming to dissipate - good thing, too, because I am so ready for a full night's sleep uninterrupted by coughing fits and trips to the restroom because I'm about to pee on myself. The good news about this cough is that it has convinced me to just leave the cleaning to the cleaning lady rather than doing any of it myself - I need to be able to heal, and kicking up even more dust and inhaling whatever else is just more than my body can handle right now. I'm pretty amazed at my ability to continue functioning and packing through this thick congestion and relentless cough. But I have - I'm feeling pretty tough about that, in fact. Superwoman!

The next few days for us are full of the rest of our packing (almost finished!), saying our last goodbyes, and last minute errands - and the bank! We load up the truck Tuesday and we're off on Wednesday. Wow. Only four more sleeps until we leave!

Moving to the U.S. - Returning resident exemptions & how to clear goods

2011-08-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd offer what I've found in our quest for information about expats returning to the US. Firstly, what can we bring and how do we do it?

Moving to the U.S. - Returning resident exemptions & how to clear goods

In many of these articles I find a reference to a form "CBP 6059", which as near as I can ascertain is nonexistent. Instead, it seems that the form needed to cross the border with one's household effects is, in fact, CBP Form 3299 Declaration for Free Entry of Unaccompanied Articles.

As for our car, I figured out from calling the Department of Transportation that this form and this other form are what are needed. As far as I can tell, this is it. Let's hope this proves to be true as we cross the border this Wednesday with everything we own.

I can't help it if I'm small.
Look how cute I am in this box.

When we brought our cats here to Canada, they all had to have rabies certificates. Because of this, I assumed they would returning to the US, too. So I dutifully went out and got her examined and got her a certificate. Then I looked up the information today to double-check. Importing our cat, from this document:

Cats - All domestic cats must be free of evidence of disease communicable to humans when
examined at the port of entry. If the animal is not in apparent good health, further examination by
a licensed veterinarian may be required at the owner's expense.
There is no requirement for a rabies certificate but most airlines require a veterinarian’s health
certificate. Cats arriving in Hawaii or Guam, both of which are free of rabies, are subject to locally imposed quarantine requirements.

So, no rabies certificate required. Damn. Oh well, she's been declared in good health, if not a little thin (we feed her - she has unlimited access to food, I promise! She is just a small cat!)

the move preparation continues

2011-08-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

I was reminded the other day that I have an account at fotopages.com, so I perused it and figured I'd link it here. Honestly I'm surprised that website still exists with flickr and picasa and other such mediums about. But there you go, my life when we lived in Washington...nice taking that little walk down memory lane when I'm of course supposed to be packing and/or backing up files on my computer in preparation for the move.

A little tip about moving: back up all of your files and especially important things (for me that means photos and video) on your computer before you move. Just in case. In our case, we have not only DVD backup, but also an external hard drive to backup to. Just in case.

Also, because we're crossing a border, we're keeping an inventory of everything we pack, including values. I've got myself a spreadsheet going that I continually update as we go. We're currently up to Item # 136 and counting: there are at lease 5 incomplete boxes in the living room waiting for last minute items to be put in (videos, video games, toys, etc) and I haven't even touched the kitchen or the bathroom yet - mostly because I ran out of boxes before I ran out of stuff.

Type of boxes that are a favourite for moving: for me, it's case paper boxes - you can get them at any place that sells paper and/or makes copies, usually for free. I love these because they're small enough that no matter what you put in them, it's not going to be too heavy to carry. These are awesome for books and other heavy items. My cousin swears by banana boxes. She loves then for the handles, the lids, and the durability. These, of course, can be gotten at grocery stores, and I'd also bet smoothie places. We've been getting boxes from all over the place this move, though - the dumpsters behind the sandwich shop, the dumpster behind the outlet store (all clean and cardboard-only), and my husband's work (he works in a hotel building doing IT, so these are mostly toilet paper boxes - but they're a good size for lighter items. Big, so too much filling can make them heavy, according to my husband. Loading the moving truck ought to be interesting, as these boxes are nothing close to uniform in size. Whee.

Moving day draws nearer - friends are calling us for last dinners and visits, and there are only 12 days left until we load the truck.

I still need to do things like close bank accounts we won't keep and pick up medical and dental records - I've been putting these off because I really don't want to do them - they aren't fun errands at all. I'm hoping to combine dental records with a visit with a friend in the same area, and vet records need to be gotten for our cat, which means we need to create some, as in take her in for a visit. She seems to be the only cat of the four we previously had to not need visits to the vet, so I was surprised to find she had zero records with them.

We sold out LCD TV to a neighbor because the warranty won't cross the border, nor will they issue a refund, but they will transfer it to a different person. That's fine by me, honestly - the TV is less than a year old and it was too big for me anyway - when we move I can choose one that is better suited to our space and is less crazymaking for me.

Items are listed and selling on Craigslist - assorted things we wanted to not give away but try to recoup some money for. We'll see. The rest we'll donate to charity.

We're still working on a solution for our little kitty, Frenzie being taken care of for a month while we're visiting family. Of course we could leave her here, but when we return from there, here will be a 6 hour drive from where we'll be settling, so that isn't a really desirable option. I've got feelers out for her being in OR or WA at least. We shall see.

We have renters and auto insurance lined up for when we move - yay! These things are important. And I'm told everything is covered in transit as well. Our house is looking emptier and emptier as more things go into boxes - and we're getting more excited.

Apparently all of the dust I've been kicking up coupled with the lack of sleep I've been managing for whatever reasons has given me a cough that wants to settle. I figure better now than when we're on a plane, so I'm fine with it. We have time now for me to rest a day or two and recuperate, I'm glad for that.

Moving right along.....

keeping my eye on the ball

2011-08-12T00:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it can be easy for me to find stress in looking at the big picture - feeling mired by the enormity of the tasks that lie ahead. And if I instead take a step back and look at what is just before me to do, it seems more doable and not so overwhelming. I like to make lists, so that I can see the items on them being crossed off - it makes me feel much more accomplished. My NAET practitioner and acupuncturist, Sophya (I highly recommend her if you are anywhere near Vancouver) said to me, "Make your goals small - give yourself things to do you know you will be able to do in a day. Than when you do them, take time to feel good about that and acknowledge yourself. Then if you do more, WOW! Look how much you did that day!" (Okay, so I'm paraphrasing a little bit, only because unlike my sweet son, I don't have exact total recall. But this is essentially what she said, and the 'WOW' was definitely there, in her charming Russian accent.) She is our new Russian grandmother, Sophya. She is an amazing woman, and so very intuitive.

Inspired by Sophya's words and in the interest of bringing myself up and out from being bogged down in the details of packing and moving, I wrote a little reminder of what we're looking forward to about the move.

In no particular order:

PORTLAND

comfy house
sunny, with lots of windows
large fenced backyard
kitchen windows that look out to yard
fireplace
windows we can open in bedrooms
safe neighborhood
quiet street
garage
mudroom
clean air
lots of kids
friendly, fun neighbors
tree-lined streets
eco-friendly
trampoline!
lots of good friends
lots of homeschool group events/trips/fun
lots of fun places to go
lakes in summer
LEGO store
kid and adult swaps (toys, clothing, stuff)
lots of movement and activity
short (or no) commute for Hubby
support!
wellness
ecstatic dance
yoga
tai chi
love
bliss!

sleepy kitten tires of this

2011-08-08T01:04:00.000-07:00

I just love how when I lie down to try and rest my brain for sleep, my mind begins to clear and organize my thoughts for the coming week...a day would be sufficient, and can we just please skip the nightly walks down memory lane, thanks?

On the bright side, my brain did manage to clear some things about our packing and moving that had been troubling me. Namely, that state of one's home that begins to take over once one begins packing everything, which one can only refer to as 'chaos'. I can stand a fair bit of untidiness, but after awhile, clutter begins to get to me, especially if it is chaotic clutter. I prefer organized clutter, if that makes any sense at all. That is to say, when I can walk through my house without having to navigate my way around things, and I know where everything is. When things get too far away from where I prefer them to be, I become anxious...and my anxiety generally tends to manifest itself as grumpiness, and sometimes yelling, and sometimes tears.

Sigh.

So as you might be able to guess, having boxes every which where I turn in my house isn't conducive to my mental health. and yet, this is what is so: we are moving. We need to pack things. There will be boxes. Also: taxes! and death!

But my brain proved to be of some use to me, as did my tireless husband - well, he isn't tireless, since he is asleep at this very second of my typing this - he does have a job outside of the home to go to in the morning, after all. My point being that what my husband did today was work on clearing out his hobby room to use for storing the boxes. And I realized that if we take that just a little bit farther and take out his computer and his desk, we can fill that whole room with boxes (rather than my living room). This would make space in my living room for the elliptical, which I'd like to have in there for me to burn off stress throughout my day as I am packing. (Doesn't that sentence make me sound like I'm fit and healthy? How I love thee, words on a page. If only you had the power to create my real life as I type you. )

I can also pack up my sweet son's room, and then Hubby can disassemble both his shelves and his bed, and then we can also fill his room with boxes, leaving the upstairs (where we spend all of our time) virtually clear of boxes - although there is the little matter of The Stuff That is Needing to Go - either to Craigslist or charity - that might be occupying said happy space in the meanwhile.

Right this very second, my eyeballs took a time out to yell at me for my keeping them open to type this out. "Really? You're insisting on keeping us open for THIS boring drivel? Really???" Yes, eyeballs, I call it freeing my mind so I can sleep, okay? You - stop yelling at me!!!

Sigh. I apologize to anyone currently reading this. What you must think of me right now. Forgive my little free-flowing catharsis.

Anyway...bottom line is, we can pack everything we own and also still have a relatively clear space in our living area, which makes my mind happier, because for its peace, this is what is needed.

P.S. - My paper journal is even more boring than this. It's just to-do lists and things I need to remember so our world doesn't implode when we leave this place.

This is what sleepy kitten thinks of this entry:

moving back to the US - choosing the option that works for us

2011-08-05T05:51:00.000-07:00

So the big thing that I've not been talking about until it was truly official is this: we are moving back to the US, to Portland, OR to be exact. And since now our house is officially sold, I can talk about it and the unnerving process of moving back to the country from whence we came. I can also offer you all of my own personal trials and tribulations in the process, and won't that be fun /sarcasm.

For the past two days my time at this screen has been involved in all manner of changeover details: insurance, auto, storage quotes, finding a place for our cat for a month....anyone in WA or OR want to petsit a cute little orange tabby for a month - in your home? We're happy to pay for the service...

Hubby and I are at that age where moving companies begin to look like both viable and appealing options, so I looked into the costs of hiring one. The only caveat is that taking all of our possessions across the border constitutes an international move, complete with all the requisite paperwork, and therefor warrants adding a bazillion fees to the process - making most moving companies cost prohibitive for us. (Or at least, we are not willing to spend that kind of money when we don't have to).

Another option that also offers convenience is a service like PODS, where they come and drop off a big container and you fill it at your leisure - then they come and take it away and store it until you're ready for it, at which point they will deliver it wherever you wish. They also offer international services, and are only half the cost of the moving companies. And also? For some reason a 6 hour drive across the border takes them 5 business days.

But Hubby and I? Well, we like a deal. And we're big do-it-yourself-ers. If there is something we CAN do ourselves, we tend to do it ourselves. And if it is something like moving all of our stuff and filling out paperwork, well...we're all over that. Because paperwork is what the government is all about! /sarcasm

But seriously, the price difference between renting a truck and loading it yourself then driving it to the storage facility ourselves? It's pretty hefty - as in "covered the airfare for the three of us to fly to St. Louis" hefty. So we're renting a truck. Except there's this one thing: we have plenty of help to load the truck here in our cohousing community - plenty of strong men to help Hubby load the large appliances, and also, a dolly and carts and anything else we'd need. But when we get to Portland and need to unload into a storage unit? Well, we don't know so many people there. And we don't know anyone well enough to ask them for a favor as big as helping us unload a moving truck into a storage unit.

But because I have access to the internet and pretty much anything I can conceive of that might need doing exists in the world if you just use the right Google search, I discovered that there is, in fact, an answer to my needs. Delightful, no? You can hire a crew of strapping men to come and help you move your stuff - and they come with customer reviews, so you know what you're in for.

Also, in case anyone is interested because you're considering an across-the border move, here is a screenshot of my spreadsheet I made to compare the costs of DIY moving vs pod moving. An FYI but not included, most moving companies charged about $3K for them to move it (without storage). My spreadsheet:

Interesting note: See how it costs $343 CDN to rent a truck in BC? (Because we're taking it across the border). While in Portland, it is a mere $40 plus mileage? And even with the cost of hiring those guys twice, doing two unloads and one loading of truck, it still comes to less than half the price - so yeah, even though the idea of not having to do all of the unloading is appealing, the idea of saving $1200 is even more appealing. And anyway, there is always the possibility of Josh not doing any of the work and just paying the guys from movinghelp.com to do all of it.

In other news, I got four boxes packed today, including my beehives - prompted by Hubby asking me, "How are we going to pack the hives?" (Don't worry, they're empty.) Plus that nifty spreadsheet there. Progress made!

and so it begins

2011-08-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

Our house is officially sold. We will be vacating on August 31st, then taking our belongings to Portland and storing them there for a month while we go visit our family and friends in the midwest. I'm so happy that we're finally getting back to visit everyone after two years of not going anywhere.

Flights are booked. A little tip: look up the flight comparisons on one of those sites that gives you the lowest fares. But once you find that flight, go to the airline website to book it. Because something that you might not realize when you book through those cheap places? Is that itineraries are subject to change not only without notice, but without them notifying you. This happened to us once, and had we not called the airline for something else, we'd have never known they changed our itinerary - we would have missed our flight home. The airlines don't do this, because when you've booked a flight, you've booked that flight. Not the possibility of that flight, or something like it. If I can spare anyone this same fate, it's a good thing.

My upcoming posts might well be about all of my adventures in packing and moving to the US, so be warned. Hopefully I'll be able to offer tips and tricks to others who are moving, maybe someone else will find this useful.

The fun thing about moving is that we get to get rid of stuff. I always love a good purge of stuff we never use, so I have that to look forward to. There is also the Inventory of Everything We Own, which can be informative and interesting, and most useful is that when we're unpacking we know exactly what items are in each box. The inventory is something that was required of us when we moved into Canada, so we are assuming that when returning, the US will also want to know what we're bringing into the country, as they tend to be even more strict about such things.

Of note: the Canadian immigration website is quite user-friendly. If a person is willing to take the time and read the website, pretty much anything anyone might want to know about immigrating is on that website. I mean, really - everything. I cannot say that the US website even comes close. I still have no idea what the requirements are for us moving back into the US, even though I spent a good hour on the website.

I was at least able to contact someone at the DoT to find out what we'd need for our car...though I had to call one number and get the second number, then leave a message and wait for a call back. I think the big difference here is that Canadian government seems to completely abhor phone usage of any kind, ever. There are pretty much zero phone numbers anywhere for people to call immigration, and even when you do find one, all you get is a recorded message with the exact same information that can be found on the website, only less of it. Whereas the US seems much more fond of telephone communication - there are phone numbers everywhere to call for all manner of things, and very little actual information on the website that I can ascertain other than the forms I'll need - only I have to call the numbers to find out which forms.

Sorry if this is totally boring to everyone but me.

Also, see that gorgeous picture above? I found it on the interweb - the photo is linked to the page - and I searched for a way to find the actual artist - Ramona Safree - and see if maybe she had prints of this for sale. Sadly, I could not find anything. I hope she is still painting and selling her work somewhere, because I love her colours and her soul.

this is the way to start a summer day

2011-07-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

I created a recipe that probably other people have also created, but since I did it without help, I'll take the credit for mine. It's so darn good, and I've perfected it, so I'm going to share it.

(I borrowed this photo from the internet, because it looks the closest to what we made. I forgot to photograph our actual smoothies because we were too busy drinking them and making little "mmmmm" sounds.)

Better than the Bux Cold and Delicious

Okay, the night before you make this, take your favourite milk or cream and freeze it into ice cubes. For two smoothies, you'll need one tray of milk cubes. for three (and some seconds), you'll need two.

The morning you're making this, make your coffee (we use water processed decaf). We have two french presses: a small one and a large one. Basically you're going to make the equivalent of 1-2 double-strength cups of coffee. Got that? Take twice the amount of coffee you'd usually use, and make the coffee.

Let the coffee cool down and pour 1 cup of coffee per tray of milk cubes in the Vitamix (or a blender). Add honey to taste (I used about 3 Tbs for 2 trays milk cubes) and 1 tsp vanilla.

Blend it all together and drink.

Enjoy the liquid happiness.

Garb for Renaissance Occasions

2011-07-10T02:03:00.000-07:00

Garb for Renaissance Occasions

I whipped up some garb today for our friends' renaissance-inspired wedding. I already had the corset from a Ren Faire a couple of years ago - by Felix and Kitty Creative. My underdress was a part of my wedding costume, made by my friend Karen at Curious Cat Clothing. The rest is made by me - Hubby and Son's shirts were made previously for different costumes, hubby's pants were actually part of an owl costume I'd made for myself two Halloweens ago. So what I whipped up today from a couple of tablecloths were my overskirt, Hubby's vest, and all of our hats. There is a Renaissance Faire coming up here in a couple of weeks, and I think before then I'm going to remake Hubby's vest and hat, but for today, we looked pretty good and got lots of compliments.

where wrong turns lead we will follow

2011-06-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

There is this fantastic little thrift store a few blocks from us - we call it the Hospice Thrift, as all the proceeds are for hospice care and it is staffed by elderly women who are quite proud and particular. The prices are fantastic, and they never sell junk - nothing broken or partial - they run it like a boutique and everything in that store is in good condition or better.

The other day Kiernen and I were about to go to the bank and the library - which when we come out of where we live, are to the left. This was my only errand, so I was surprised to find myself pulling out of our lot and turning right.

"Why did I just do that?" I said out loud to Kiernen. "I'm going the wrong way. Oh well, no matter, I'll just turn left ahead and double back."

So I did, and we were then driving up the street toward that little thrift store. It came into my head to go there, since we hadn't been in awhile and sometimes, you just never know, there are treasures waiting to be found. I needed some dowel rods for a project - perhaps they'd gotten some in? I asked Kiernen if he was interested in stopping there, and he was. I fleetingly wondered if they ever got LEGO in their store, but seriously fleetingly. I figured not - LEGO is expensive, and people who own it know its value. Old sets can be resold on Ebay for more than a person paid for them, after all. And lots of folks just plain saved them from their childhood for their kids.

Kiernen's Lego, for example, consists of pieces from my own original Lego set when I was three or four, plus additional Lego my brothers added to it growing up, plus so much new stuff. His kids will have the Lego collection to end all Lego collections, especially if we keep going at this rate.

Thought tangent aside, we got to the thrift and went in. As we approached the toy section, I noticed an unopened Bionicle box sitting on the shelf. Or Kiernen noticed it. One of us saw it and I took it down and handed it to him. $4! A steal for a 2004 (I think) Bionicle - and I also remembered Kiernen had been wanting his own Bionicle.

"Cool!" I thought, worth the trip. We looked around in the little 25 cent toy bin and looked on the shelves...and then I saw it. A LEGO Creator set. $5. I'm not one to turn down cheap Lego - an opportunity to add even more Lego to our collection? Great! I was happily showing Kiernen, then we were looking around at the rest of the stuff, when I noticed something I hadn't noticed before: a large bin on the floor with a huge clear plastic bag inside it. And it was full of...are those Megabloks?

No. It was marked $40 and it was completely full of genuine Lego. I didn't even think about it - I untied the bag to make sure, but it was true - it was almost ALL Lego. Kiernen is no fool - he knows his mother is a huge sucker for a deal, and a huge sucker for Lego, and a huge sucker. Ha! I kid. And I really am a big softie when it comes to stuff like this. I didn't have many toys growing up because my mother didn't have much money, so I completely overcompensate for my own lack of toys in childhood by making our home into what really resembles an awesome toy store.

Kiernen said hopefully, "Are we buying this, Mama?" as he helped me untie the bag and go through it to confirm that it was, in fact, Lego. (We are snobs and purists when it comes to building toys, thanks in large part to having actually purchased a Megablok set long ago - and never since.)

When we got the set home, we poured it all out to see what we'd actually gotten.

Looks like about 9 different bases (whoa!), 2 big bags of LEGO, plus the medium bag of LEGO Creator. Cool!

A close-up of the first bag - looks like some castle stuff:

Bag two looks like some kind of underwater set...

The LEGO creator bag with miscellaneous pieces:

We poured it all out on the floor to see what's there.

Whoa! Click any photo to embiggen and see more detail.

a whole ship already built from the underwater set:

Parts of a castle:

The LEGO creator pieces all poured out:

Some kind of ship that isn't actually LEGO:

Then later, I went online to see what the sets actually were, because it looks very much like we have two full sets - and I mean the big sets - plus some assorted bases and pieces. MSRP on EACH of these two sets is around $90. Not including the Creator set, NOT including the Bionicle. We bought over $180 in Lego for less than $50. The deal seeker in me is elated. The kid in me is screaming with joy. The me in me is totally blissed out.

Oh, and the sets themselves?

Royal Knights Castle and Neptune Discovery Lab

The directions weren't included, but Kiernen now knows we can look up directions online, which we have, and are building the castle set currently. He is truly delighted in this new score, as am I.

All for having taken a 'wrong' turn and deciding to go where that led us.

with purse comes wallet

2011-06-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

The one thing I discovered after making my purse is that my giant carryall wallet was REALLY heavy to carry in it, and I really didn't need all that wallet, anyway. Again, I set about seeking a way to make one out of the leftover fabric I had from the purse - and there was plenty!

Craftster to the rescue again, and I found myself the perfect wallet to make.

I do have to say on my behalf, sometimes I am infuriatingly ambitious. Sometimes it's sort of cute how I think I can do things way beyond my skill level, and sometimes, like when I am actually attempting to do said task, it is infuriating and crushing. I won't lie - this is probably beyond my skill level, even though in the end, I did manage to pull it off. Not without tears and cursing and real bleeding, mind you - but in the end, I did complete the wallet, and even though it's so so imperfect, I'm pretty happy with it . I did go through three zippers trying to make it happen, though.

The back pocket:

Inside: Zippered change pouch, cash pocket, card pockets.

View of cash pocket (then holding cheques):

Change and a spare car key.

A little hiding space for my aromatherapy bottle:

And a close-up of the zipper.

If I were to do this again - in the distant future - I would make the corners MUCH more rounded, which would allow for much easier opening of said zipper. I took lining up my zipper to the extreme and ended up with these square corners - which are not easy to unzip. However, because I know the trick, I CAN do it, so not all is lost. It really is quite functional and I'm pleased with it because this is the hardest thing I've sewn yet aside from the jacket of my husband's Halloween costume last year. The fact that I was able to finish it is a testament to my ability to persevere, and also to my stubbornness.

condiments! ketchup and mayo

2011-06-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

One of the things we have a difficult time finding in the store that we can eat is condiments - of all kinds. Everything is full of stuff we don't eat - sugar being the number one, but also canola oil, soybean oil, corn-based ingredients, and chemicals.

This could mean we go without - which much of the time we do - but sometimes a kid's just gotta have some ketchup. And how can one make "salmonfish" or deviled eggs without mayonnaise?

So after trying and amending a few different recipes, I've come up with one we all seem to like. A word of advice: if you've got kids, get a squeeze bottle and fill it with this - my son refuses this in a regular jar, but will eat it from a squeeze bottle. I suppose presentation is important?

Happy Kids Ketchup

6 oz tomato paste
2 tbs apple cider vinegar
1 tsp onion powder or 1/4 small onion, finely diced
pinch allspice
1 tsp salt
1 tsp Worstershire (pronounced WORster - did you know?)
1 1/4 cup water
1-2 Tbs honey
2 Tbs maple syrup (opt)

Blend ingredients and cook uncovered on low for one hour, or until the consistency is that of ketchup.

Mayonnaise for Happy Tummies

2 lg eggs
1 Tbs apple cider vinegar
juice from 1/2 lemon
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp white pepper
dash tobasco
1 cup oil (I use a mix of olive, safflower and grapeseed - not too heavy on the oilve, as it has a strong flavour)
1 1/2 Tbs honey
1 Tbs dijon mustard

Combine all except oil in blender or food processor (I use my food processor). Drizzle in the oil S-L-O-W-L-Y, very S-L-O-W-L-Y as it blends. Let it blend for about 10 minutes, then put in jar and refrigerate.

And there you have, it - condiments! Now when your kiddo asks for something with ketchup, you can say yes without worry. Sugar-free, corn-free, preservative-free!

my very first self-created purse and a tutorial

2011-06-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

I tend to vacillate between using purses and using backpacks as my means of carrying necessary objects about. It has been a long long time since I've used a purse - having a baby and then a toddler necessitated my having lots of stuff with my, including food and other items, so it has been backpack as choice for many years now.

Well, now my son is older and recently I cut my hair short - so short that I was feeling rather unfeminine - and having an army green backpack only compounded that feeling. So in addition to my return to wearing necklaces, I've also returned to carrying a purse. And of course I wanted a particular kind of purse, and spend four days solid scouring the internet for just such a purse.Only how can you search for a particular thing when you have no idea what it's called? My lack of knowledge in this area is pretty apparent.

I was about to give up and make what would have been my second choice when I finally found this tutorial on craftster. I only changed it a wee bit, adding the strap that encircled the whole bag, making it wider all around. I am so proud of myself for this one - I made my very first bag!

See, here is the side:

And this is the back pocket:

And the front zippered pocket:

The top (I only wish I'd had another brown zipper, I really prefer the brown here):

The bottom:

And my hand in the photo for scale:

By the way, this is called an across the shoulder hipster bag, if anyone else is curious and like me, had no idea. It all makes sense now that I know.

I've been wearing it out for a couple of weeks now and I have to say, I'm quite happy with it. It suits me well, it fits everything I need, and it is comfortable to wear and use. Also? It's gotten a few compliments, too! My favourite was the girl who was in utter disbelief that I'd made it myself. I love her!

The Purple Goddess Happiness Project

2011-06-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

In an effort to create more happiness and well-being in our lives, I've been reading a wide assortment of books on love and happiness. I'm reading one now on my new Kindle: Love Skills for Personal & Global Transformation: Secrets of a Love Master.

One of the topics it touches on is self-love and the importance of loving yourself. What I like about this book is that it actually gives practical tips for the practice of these tools. For loving yourself, one of the things suggested is to keep a journal of things you do that you like. So at the end of the day, I've begun keeping a journal of the things I did that day that I liked. I began to realize that the more I wrote, the more things I was able to come up with, and the first night I easily filled three pages of my journal - much to my own surprise. I felt so good after I did it that I also wrote a list of things my husband did that I liked. It feels to easy and so light - just writing what I liked. There's no pressure there, right?

I've also helped Kiernen start a journal of his own - so he can also reflect at the end of the day on what he liked. My intention in doing this is that we both go to bed feeling good about ourselves and what we did and said - which also paves the way for good dreams and also for feeling good the next morning. He also puts his wishlist items in his journal.

I like this practice a lot - before, we were doing what we were calling "appreciations" and somehow it began to feel like pressure to come up with something significant, something big. I like just thinking of what I liked, because it still puts me in the space of appreciation, but it feels so much lighter and easier, because I don't add to it my own undue pressure of having it be "significant". It can be as simple as, "I like that I made dinner for my family," or "I like that I folded the laundry." And when I make a list of all of those things, it does seem to be pretty significant - and I just feel good. And that's really what it's all about.

food for the road - cheesy biscuits (ala red lobster)

2011-06-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

I remember eating those Red Lobster cheesy biscuits back in the day, back when I thought eating grains worked for me (it didn't). I remember loving those cheesy little things with their chives and their delicious wrongness.

These aren't exactly the same, of course - how could they be? But for us grain-free folks, they're a pretty darn good substitute. And there's no end to the variation on little sandwiches we can make with them, too!

I got the recipe here, and they are delicious! A great addition to our road trip food, as I always had something savory to put meat and veggies on.

portable DVD player tote

2011-06-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

Now that we've returned from our recent trip to Vancouver, WA for the Life is Good Unschooling Conference, I can start sharing things about the trip. huzzah! And Thing One will be the lovely Portable DVD Player Tote I made with many many great thanks to this awesome tutorial.

My version (Kiernen chose the fabrics since it is essentially his DVD Player):

The outside front:

Opened - it has velcro closures

The back pocket, which is tricky to see with this fabric. It's huge and holds cords, the remote, headphones, etc.:

Inside the spacious back pocket:

Which also has velcro closure:

The two-part inside (player side):

with DVD sleeve inside also:

enough space for everything one needs to make one's DVD player experience a success.

I recommend this tutorial to anyone. It was easy to follow and I think my only change, just because it was what I had, was I used quilt batting on the inside for cushioning, and flannel for the fabric (weird choice, I know). Note: If you're going to use quilt batting, do yourself a favor and make it at LEAST 1/4" smaller on all sides than the fabric. It will be SO much easier to sew together, trust me! Becaue this bag is flannel, it can also double as a pillow if needed, because it's so soft. And its washable!

today

2011-06-05T19:55:00.001-07:00

For you, my lovely friend, Denise :-)

thoughts on our Life is Good Unschooling Conference Experience

2011-06-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

So as I mentioned, on Memorial Day Weekend, we drove down to Vancouver, WA (just across the river from Portland), and attended our second Life is Good Unschooling Conference.

I posted about our experience as it was happening and before we left here, in Kiernen's adventures blog.

The day after I wrote that, we drove to tigard, Or and visited THE LEGO STORE. And Portland has no sales tax.

We actually bought the biggest set we've ever put together - SEVEN bags of LEGO in this ONE set. And not a licensed set, just LEGO guys being creative and making this totally cool UFO space set. We (he sometimes lets me help, even though he doesn't need me to - he really loves the bonding when we do it together, though) put together a mini truck, a flying saucer, a little airplane, and this big amazing dual compartment truck with SO MANY little details. This thing is amazing. I think really, I so appreciate these engineers that get to create this stuff. The truck had axles! I mean, axles we built! Under a frame! and a chassis! And a little setup in the back with satellites and DRAWERS with TOOLS inside! This thing is AMAZING. I am trying to post a photo with no success, so the link to it is here.

In searching for that, I found this site, which also has games, etc of that set.

I digress. the Conference!

The sadly sparse amount of photos I took are here:

Life is Good Conference 2011

Our Learning Consultant, Jen, asked, "What do you now know that you didn't know before you attended the conference?"

I know we can do a 6 hour plus road trip no problem, and we have a pretty good time of it. I know I am a darn good planner when I choose to be - we had everything we needed. Everything.

I know that we will go again next year...and I will do even more preparation and also? I will make sure I get to do at least ONE thing I want to do. lol

I know that we are fairly sensitive, Kiernen and I, and we might need more downtime than some folks - and that's okay, too. I know that fresh air is vitally important to our well-being. I knew that before, but I sort of forget...and then we GET fresh air, and I remember. That Saturday Market in Esther Short Park being so sunny and beautiful and perfect and spending that time outside was crucial for us. We had a brilliant time doing it, too. And Kiernen made some more movies - this has been a budding passion for both of us, making these little movies.

I know that when 700 people get in a hotel together, chaos WILL happen. Sometimes that looks like thing going missing or fire alarms being pulled. And that it's how we respond to those things that matters most and keeps the joy alive for people.

I know that I loved having a room that only we were in. Some folks had parties or open doors with folks going in and out of them, and that was awesome, too. We had a quiet room away from the chaos, and only we ever entered it. It was our sanctuary and it made us happy. I love that we had that. It was just what we needed and wanted.

I was deeply sad when we left a day early (we're in Canada where there wasn't a long weekend, and Josh has to return to work) and we missed Kimya Dawson AND Amy Steinberg playing their brilliant music, both of whom I HEART. Did I mention I was sad? Because I was SAD. Kiernen was ready to come home, though, and get to building his new LEGO. We stopped at Red Lobster on the way back, which I didn't even know existed in this part of the country. And that was good. Also? I think that Red Lobster must have been in the friendliest town we've ever been in ever, because the servers there were just SO. DARN. FRIENDLY!

Coming home took us about a week to recover from - or at least a few days. but being in Portland and getting to drive around there...it felt good, and we felt like yes, we can live there.

Other conference-goers reflected on their experiences, as well:

Blog of the Zombie Princess

With the Family

The Wonderful Happens

I'm like a butterfly

2011-05-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I keep changing things and I keep messing about on here like some indecisive flighty butterfly (I'd rather liken myself to a butterfly than a flake).

So I'll just tell you about it.

My brain seems to be all over the place lately - here we are about to move from Bc, Canada back to the US - Portland, OR to be exact...when? Do I know? No! My original plan in my adorably ambitious (on paper) brain was May 31st. The Universe has other plans. I've now amended "My" plan to June 30. Outside sources say that is still adorably ambitious.

Sometimes the waiting and not knowing an exact date can be frustrating, like being in some ongoing purgatory, only with trampolines, a Kindle, my sewing room, and awesome kids. The true answer is this: our house, in this co-housing community in which we live, is for sale. It is also under contract - being bought currently by people we would totally hang out with were we staying here. (They're unschoolers! they have all the same books as us!) They are currently in the process of selling THEIR house, which according to our contract, they have until June 30th to do. In the meanwhile, however, we do have the option of selling to what is known as a "cash buyer", which is essentially someone who ha the financing lined up and no other place to sell. Capisce? (I had to look that up to spell it correctly).

Anyway. We'd like to sell to our pretend homies, of course. And also/ We're ready to move. This is the thing about my brain: Once a decision has been made by me, it is best to just go and act on it rather than eave me to stew about it for awhile (therefore worrying if it's the "right" decision and talking myself out of and back into it about a zillion times a day). I'm good at decisions. Truth be told, when it comes to the big stuff, I make fairly good decisions (where did that self-assurance just come from?). I tend to make them intuitively, which is what makes them work. However, when action doesn't happen immediately, my mind tends to go all intellectual and want to overanalyze it all and rip it to shreds. (This is where being a Virgo with Leo moon and Libra cusp comes into play and also, opposition - just in case anyone reading is of the astrological bent. Or really, just in case anyone is reading this. Whichever.)

But I digress. Or maybe it's all relevant, we'll just pretend it is. I'm meant to be talking about why I keep changing my blog and its name and therefore location. and really, it is because I feel the great need for movement and change (thus the decision to move) while what I am experiencing is the opposite, and therefore, am also causing myself some indecision in every other area of my life.

I thought for awhile it would be good to have several different blogs (I can be so adorably ambitious on paper sometimes). (In case you were wondering, I think parenthetically, too.) I said to myself, "It'll have one blog solely dedicated to knitting and sewing, and another about food, and another about unschooling, and another about...," you get the picture. I figured I'd go ahead and make it doable by starting them one at a time, building up on each until I've got it at "maintenance level", then starting the next one. See? that sounds great on paper (or on the screen), right?

Except then I remembered who I am and the fact that really, I am not going to do all of that mess. and then I'd be sewing something and thinking how great it would be to post about it except oh, I've only got the food blog going, and how is that supposed to work then?

the reality is that one place for me to be all of me is best for me. It may not be a "niche" or whatever, but really, it is the core of who I am. Eclectic, varied, not nearly as organized as one might expect a Virgo to be, and um...interested in a great many things in life. So in the interest of saving my sanity and also insuring that I post here more than once a week or month or whatever, I figured just do what works for me...so here I am. Back to the original name of my very first blog, the one that seems to fit me to this day.

Purple Goddess in Frog Pyjamas.

* waves *

So okay, not going to be exclusively about recipes, or crafts, or unschooling, or beekeeping. And Is going to be about all of the above and more.

tropical delight

2011-05-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

Oooooh, I just found another way to get coconut oil and more coconutty goodness into our bodies - yummy!

You see, Kiernen and I both take Green Pasture Blue Ice Fermented Cod Liver Oil (in the convenient gel capsule form) and Biokult Probiotics. In order to take these, Kiernen needs something of pudding-y or thick liquidy form (like kefir). I generally make a fruit pudding with coconut oil added or some kind of ice cream for him to take this daily.

He has been a bit congested, so he's off dairy for awhile, and I thought I was out of coconut milk - until I discovered half a can in the fridge. Eureka!

Here is the deliciousness that I created, and now am sharing with you for your own enjoyment. You're welcome.

Tropical Delight

1/2 can (or 1 cup) coconut milk
about 1/2 - 3/4 cup frozen mangoes (frozen is best)
1/2 banana or frozen banana
1 Tbs coconut oil

Blend all with handblender and enjoy!

Let's Talk About Coconut !

2011-05-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

For some of us, coconut milk is that delicious, creamy substance that satisfied our need for creamy goodness when dairy in our bodies isn't the best idea. After all, coconut milk can be a substitute for so many places in a recipe that calls for milk! In ice creams, in soups, in Thai cooking and in curries...coconut milk is fantastic!

But why use it? Why not use some other milk substitute, you ask?

Did you know that some cultures and people consider coconut as a miracle food?

Coconut water, and the subsequent 'milk' (made from said water plus pulp) contains electrolytes, vitamins and minerals like calcium and potassium. It's better than Gatorade for replenishing those fluids, and people are starting to find out!

See? Three different kinds for sale on Amazon of all places! Did you know you can buy groceries on Amazon now? Wow.

(Forgive my playing with the Amazon links, I've only newly discovered this feature for blogging and might be a bit out of hand with it.)

Anyway, where was I?

Coconut! Right!

Saturated Fat - yep, I said it! The saturated fat in coconut is made up of short-chain and medium-chain fatty acids. This means that our bodies quickly turn these fatty acids into energy instead of storing them as fat. Translation: even though it's high in saturated fat, coconut can aid in weight loss. Fat - not the evil enemy the media would have us believe it is. True!

A fantastic book on the benefits of coconut oil has been written by Sally Fallon and Mary Enig - if this is a subject that interests you, I highly recommend this book:

Half the medium-chain fatty acids in coconut milk are composed of lauric acid, which is anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-microbial and anti-fungal.

Researchers in the Philippines have even begun studies to prove the effectiveness of lauric acid against HIV/AIDS because of its strong antiviral properties.

Learn more by reading the full article.

So what we're saying here is that the regular consumption of coconut products like coconut oil, coconut water and coconut milk can help boost the immune system.

And from the coconut research center, just look at this giant list of healing uses of coconut! To quote ~~just a few~~ the whole list because really, it is so impressive! Just look at this list:

Kills viruses that cause influenza, herpes, measles, hepatitis C, SARS, AIDS, and other illnesses.
Kills bacteria that cause ulcers, throat infections, urinary tract infections, gum disease and cavities, pneumonia, and gonorrhea, and other diseases.
Kills fungi and yeasts that cause candidiasis, ringworm, athlete's foot, thrush, diaper rash, and other infections.*
Expels or kills tapeworms, lice, giardia, and other parasites.
Provides a nutritional source of quick energy.
Boosts energy and endurance, enhancing physical and athletic performance.
Improves digestion and absorption of other nutrients including vitamins, minerals, and amino acids.
Improves insulin secretion and utilization of blood glucose.
Relieves stress on pancreas and enzyme systems of the body.
Reduces symptoms associated with pancreatitis.
Helps relieve symptoms and reduce health risks associated with diabetes.
Reduces problems associated with malabsorption syndrome and cystic fibrosis.
Improves calcium and magnesium absorption and supports the development of strong bones and teeth.
Helps protect against osteoporosis.
Helps relieve symptoms associated with gallbladder disease.
Relieves symptoms associated with Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, and stomach ulcers.
Improves digestion and bowel function.
Relieves pain and irritation caused by hemorrhoids.
Reduces inflammation.
Supports tissue healing and repair.
Supports and aids immune system function.
Helps protect the body from breast, colon, and other cancers.
Is heart healthy; improves cholesterol ratio reducing risk of heart disease.
Protects arteries from injury that causes atherosclerosis and thus protects against heart disease.
Helps prevent periodontal disease and tooth decay.
Functions as a protective antioxidant.
Helps to protect the body from harmful free radicals that promote premature aging and degenerative disease.
Does not deplete the body's antioxidant reserves like other oils do.
Improves utilization of essential fatty acids and protects them from oxidation.
Helps relieve symptoms associated with chronic fatigue syndrome.
Relieves symptoms associated with benign prostatic hyperplasia (prostate enlargement).
Reduces epileptic seizures.
Helps protect against kidney disease and bladder infections.
Dissolves kidney stones.
Helps prevent liver disease.
Is lower in calories than all other fats.
Supports thyroid function.
Promotes loss of excess weight by increasing metabolic rate.
Is utilized by the body to produce energy in preference to being stored as body fat like other dietary fats.
Helps prevent obesity and overweight problems.
Applied topically helps to form a chemical barrier on the skin to ward of infection.
Reduces symptoms associated the psoriasis, eczema, and dermatitis.
Supports the natural chemical balance of the skin.
Softens skin and helps relieve dryness and flaking.
Prevents wrinkles, sagging skin, and age spots.
Promotes healthy looking hair and complexion.
Provides protection from damaging effects of ultraviolet radiation from the sun.
Helps control dandruff.

* - This gets its own paragraph, because it is so important for so many of us who have lived with this: Coconut oil has also been proven to kill the Candida Albicans yeast.That's Candida. Taking coconut oil regularly has helped people to get that Candida under control. Just ask Bee! She has many great links about coconut oil in healing Candida.

And coconut products, there are many!

In addition to the coconut meat itself, there is shredded, flour, oil, water,cream, and the young coconuts themselves - so so delicious when they're in season! I love making smoothies, desserts and noodles from young coconut - the flesh is so soft and supple! It is amazing what one can do with all of these different coconut products - and in future I'll share some more of what I do with them, of course!

And remember, coconut milk is dairy-free, soy-free, lactose-free, grain-free, gluten-free, and even animal-free! This means that pretty much no matter what your dietary preferences, it's pretty likely that coconut can be a part of your life. Huzzah!

Peachy Coconutty Ice Cream

2011-05-07T06:20:00.000-07:00

It might seem like desserts are the fare around here, and it isn't so much so as that dinner is often something so simple and delicious, like grassfed beef tenderloin and steamed broccoli with grassfed butter - like last night, for example.

So the only recipe then is the dessert, which last night was ice cream. we were fortunate enough to have procured an ice cream maker out of season for half the regular price, and boy, do we ever use it! And might I say, gone are the days of having to get rock salt and ice and let the thing run for two hours (I'm referring to our previous ice cream maker). Technology has advanced, and now we can have fully formed soft ice cream in just 15-20 minutes - instant gratification need satisfied!

Without further ado, last night's recipe:

Peachy Coconutty Ice Cream

1 15 oz can coconut milk
1 1/2 cups of peaches, frozen or home-canned (or fresh if it's summer and they're in season - even better!)

honey or stevia to taste (bearing in mind that when the ice cream is cold, it will taste a bit less sweet)
1 tsp vanilla
5-6 free-range pastured egg yolks leftover from making Paleo Biscuits!

Blend all of this with your handblender. Follow the directions for your ice cream maker and enjoy!

(you can also substitute the fruit for any fruit at all or add more than one)

We like to spoon this into bowls and freeze it a bit more for later when we make it, but it's just as good to eat it right when it's finished.

coconut flour pancakes from Cavegirl Court

2011-05-06T06:07:00.000-07:00

Another delicious recipe we love to use when we've got a hankering for pancakes - we've had it twice now, and let me definitely stress the importance of beating the egg whites separately before adding the other ingredients, because then they're so fluffy!

Coconut Flour Pancakes

I added cinnamon and nutmeg to mine, too, for extra happiness.

Also, I keep meaning to take photos when I make them, then we eat all of the delicious evidence before I manage it. One of these days......well, I borrowed this photo from Google images, because aside from the syrup (which we don't eat), this is pretty much what they looked like before we devoured them.

For now just trust me that these hit the spot when you're wanting pancakes and not nut flour!

shortribs of happiness

2011-05-04T05:52:00.000-07:00

(Not an actual photo of my ribs since we ate all the evidence, but a very close approximation - my crockpot is blue).

It's true. The post title? It's true. This rib sauce - a happy alteration of the original recipe, which is here. I didn't have all of the ingredients listed, so I substituted what I DID have, and the sauce came out SO wonderfully we used it again for shrimp and asparagus, and then again for chicken (there was LOTS left). SO GOOD!

Okay, enough about me. On to the recipe:

Short Ribs ala Purple Goddess

3-5 lbs short ribs
S+P to taste
3 Tbs duck fat
1 lg onion, sliced
1 cup diced tomatoes in juice
1/2 - 1 cup beef stock
3 Tbs honey
3 Tbs apple cider vinegar
1 Tbs worstershire sauce
1/2 tsp ground mustard seeds
1/3 tsp chili powder

Mix sauce and pour over ribs in crockpot. Cook 6-8 hours on low in slowcooker. SO much delicious!

paleo biscuits and from CavegirlCourt

2011-05-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

I was looking around for some non-sweet things I could make with coconut flour, since we like to limit the nuts and seeds around here, and lo and behold, I came upon this recipe from CavegirlCourt for Paleo Biscuits. I made them today and I give this recipe high marks - they really taste like biscuits! I bet we could add certain spices and other things for different flavors - and oh! Remember all those recipes you've seen with biscuit dough?!? I'll bet this would be great for those! And pot pie topping! The possibilities are endless....

For today we just had them with butter and unsweetened blueberry preserves. Then later we had them for lunch as little sandwiches with mayo, scrambled egg and turkey. Great addition to the savory-things-I-can-bake category.

chocolate! for any occasion!

2011-05-02T07:36:00.000-07:00

One of those things that I cannot seem to stay away from no matter how much I try is chocolate. I can, however, stay away from the sugar - by making my very own chocolate!

My son wanted some treats for May Day (Easter), so I made him these chocolates. And here's my recipe (approximated because that's how I roll):

1 large box baker's chocolate or the darkest chocolate you can find (I think it's about 1/2 lb) (I've also used cocoa powder in a pinch)
1/3 - 1/2 cup coconut oil or grassfed butter
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
honey to taste (I really have no idea how much I used)

Melt chocolate in a double boiler (I use a 4 cup measuring cup in a pot of water), then add all else and combine. Pour into whatever molds you like - I have some rabbits, stars, and cars we used for these. You can get them at Michael's or wherever candy molds are sold. Chill in fridge or freezer.

You can also spice it up with chili powder or cinnamon or even mint or orange extract. You could add dried fruit or sprouted almonds if you like, too.

we now return to somewhat regularly scheduled programming...

2011-05-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

Oh, hi. I guess I dropped off the blogosphere for awhile while I contemplated my next move. I've been thinking and thinking about what I want my blog to be. It didn't seem right to have a blog named for raw when what I'm eating is more GAPS/Paleo. So I went away for awhile, I did some stuff, I went through some stuff, and now I'm back. I renamed my blog and I'm going to do something with the design here in the next few days, too. I deleted the posts from way back that didn't apply to now, and I edited a bit, and I'm readjusting, since a few months not blogging equals all kinds of new blogging technology sprouting up in the meanwhile. Since I'm pretty much guaranteed I've no readers as of now (having disappeared for several months), I'll just quietly tool around here getting things the way I want them to be, and scheduling some yummy recipe posts.

Here we go!

a little reunion

2010-07-19T01:15:00.000-07:00

Remember from my previous post how I'd gotten the accidental honey harvest? Remember how there were lots of bees that died in that, but there were some bees that lived? Well, the bees that lived, I'd taken outside and put on my back porch, all together in this little jelly jar. I'd opened the jar and laid it in my giant wildflower pot, and just expected the bees to die out there, as they had no hive.

A few days ago I went outside on my back porch to water my tomatoes. I happened to glance down at the large pot and noticed a little cluster of bees - and they were all still alive. I remembered that when there is smoke in the hive, the bees take up as much honey as they can to sustain themselves, and that in fact, they can live for several days this way, without any other food sources. Oh yeah. I just hadn't expected them to live because of having no hive - but there they all were, about a dozen of them, all clustered together, keeping each other alive. I fed them some honey - they looked pretty thin and weren't exerting themselves at all - they were fairly still. I needed to go out and check to see if the bees needed another box on the hive yet, so I decided to see if I could reunite them with their hive.

Later that day I went back outside, when I was ready to take them to the hive. They'd perked right up from that infusion of honey - they were flying and energetic and being bees. When I caught them in the little jar again, I discovered something else - they'd been flying out and getting food for the group. Because I'd gotten them into the jar (with air holes punched in the lid) again, and one lone bee returned from her flight as I was about to take them inside. She had food in her mouth, and she landed on the lid of the jar - and then tried to get the food to her sisters through the hole in the top of the jar. I was just amazed - here this little cluster had no hive, and no colony - it was just these 12 little girls - and they were doing all they could to sustain and maybe even create a little colony of their own.

Here's what happened when I took them back to the hive:

I recommend clicking on the photo to see the larger sizes.

adventures in beekeeping

2010-07-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

Okay. I caught a swarm and hived them in my hive that had died - I took out most of the old comb, leaving bits that were clean and hadn't been filled with old brood, etc. Remember that?

When I went to see them a few days ago, the swarm I caught had very few bees in the hive. Like maybe 100 or so? No dead bodies that I could see (although I only looked in the top, so scratch that, I really have no idea). But there are bees flying in and out now and again - just not lots. Robbers, or colony? Only time will tell.

Either way, Hubby is building a third hive and more boxes for adding to the two that already are - definitely needed for the big hive (Honeybee Zen), possibly needed for the swarm hive (Butterfly Zen). I really am not sure what is going on in that hive yet - it seems like number of bees increases as I visit, but I'm just not sure, because not by LOTS.

Now Honeybee Zen - I had three boxes on, and I needed to add a fourth. After all, the nectar flow is ON, it has just gotten HOT in the last few days, and those bees can fill a box in just a few days in a good nectar flow.

I had forgotten that I'd put a feeder box (just about 4-5" high) on top of the hive, and the cloth over it. It was so very much TIME for me to give the bees another box to grow into, because you see, they FILLED the feeder box with comb and honey. FILLED. And because it is a feeder box, I was sort of at a loss as to what to do.

Word from my beekeeping yahoo group was take off the feeder box of honey and comb, because they would continue to build comb on top of that in those lovely patterns.

What I DID do while I was there was add another box on the top of the feeder box, so the bees had somewhere else to build, since they so obviously needed it. (And I was intending to anyway). This is what happens when I let a whole week go by between visits to the bees, two days of which have been deemed a heatwave (not where I come from, but apparently by lower mainland BC standards it has been).

It really was a beautiful sight to behold. I am so utterly in love and fascinated with these little
ladies. And holy heck, I cannot blame any swarm for wanting to join that happening hive (if in fact they did) - it is so crazy busy!

And so I went today to harvest the feeder box honey before it got too much bigger. I took a flat cookie sheet and a plastic bin large enough to hold the whole feeder box, and my hive tools. Oh, and the smoker - Kiernen was SO excited, because the smoker has been deemed (by him) his job, and he finally got to do his job!

I used a bundle of sage, so it smelled lovely, although the honey now has a sagey/smokey taste to it. One thing I hadn't remembered, again: I had an empty gallon ziploc bag in that feeder. So underneath all of that lovely comb was a flattened ziploc bag that it (the comb) was adhered to. This made it easy to slide the cookie sheet under to lift it up, but essentially impossible for the bees to go down when we smoked the hive. And so I ended up having to take off the entire feeder with comb and bees inside.

I used my bee brush and my wits to get as many of them out of the box as possible and back into the hive. I lifted, turned, got myself covered with honey, and I did my best. When I took the box home, there were still lots of bees on the comb - I kept finding ones who'd stuck their heads into the cells to survive the smoking. I put all the live ones in a little jar and freed them outside, knowing full well they'll die without their hive - but better outside than in a little jar in my kitchen.

And after getting out all the bees, and pouring all of the honey and comb into a couple of containers, I've got my very first honey harvest! I'm amazed - I did it! I was so proud, I took it around to my neighbours for them to try - and everyone was quite impressed. It was an amazing day. Honey from my own bees! Well, from the bees in my hives, I mean. And! the blueberries will be ready in about two weeks, too! Blueberries pollinated by my girls!

As always, click on the photos to see all of them.

swarm season is upon us! part 2

2010-06-09T22:23:00.000-07:00

So I took the bees home in this cardboard box, because of course we weren't prepared for actually hiving them the same night, no way. (Perhaps had we known in advance this was going to be a possibility so quickly we could have been, but this all happened SO fast!)

I was thinking okay, they're sealed in there with duct tape, and it's just a cardboard box. It will likely get cold tonight because its going to rain...maybe I ought to keep them inside for the night. But where? I mean, it's a box full of bees. Where is safe for them and for people AND is inside? Parkade? NO way, too many exhaust fumes from the cars, they could suffocate down there. Basement? My basement? Hmmm. Not the part where the washer and dryer - it's unfinished, and what if they DID somehow get out of the box? I'd have bees everywhere, and in my rafters.

Hubby's room, however, is small, enclosed, and has a door. Perfect! So I placed the box in there on the floor and turned off the light. I told Hubby when he got home and he freaked - just a little bit. He immediately went into my sewing room and got a big piece of mesh fabric - the kind one uses for veils. He wrapped it around the box "just in case". I thought he was being paranoid and laughed a bit, but accepted it.

Turns out having a paranoid spouse isn't such a bad thing sometimes. Those girls were raring to find food for their new home, and as soon as morning hit, they were making every effort to get out of the box - and succeeding. Duct tape on cardboard isn't as strong as you might think, apparently. But because there was mesh fabric all over, they were just crawling around on the outside of the box, trapped inside the mesh net. Whew!

I called Tricia again and asked her to help me hive them - I would need an extra pair of hands, especially since it was raining and I had Kiernen with me. She had her granddaughter, too - they could maybe keep each other entertained in the car while we did the work.

(Interesting aside - when I cleaned up the frames from the dead hive that already had comb, I noticed that in addition to the dead bees in the comb, there was also brood - so even though the queen was trapped, those girls had started laying brood to rear a new hive, and were very likely going to make themselves a new queen, as well. Go, little bees! That was so cool to see. However, they had ZERO honey anywhere, and thus, died.)

swarm season is upon us!

2010-06-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, has a lot ever happened since the last time I posted!

Remember how one of my hives had died because the queen was never released, and then the weather turned horrid and rainy for weeks so the bees couldn't bring in nectar and the hive starved before they could reproduce?

I'd shared this story of woe with my friend and fellow beekeeper, Tricia. And she told her husband about it, because she felt terrible, since she had helped hive them for me and all. She'd asked me what I planned to do next - get more bees? I told her I was going to get my name on the swarm list (a list of beekeepers who are willing to go out and catch swarms when they happen).

I didn't think we had enough boxes for a second hive since we'd added a box from the first hive to the second, so I asked Hubby to make more. He told me we still had another box in storage, and along with the other hive box that still had comb in it, that made two. So in fact, we did have enough for a second hive, so to put my name on the list.

Yesterday Tricia calls me and says there is a swarm at her husband's job site (he is a carpenter), and did I want to go and get it. I asked Hubby if he wanted to go do it. We'd already arranged Kiernen's first babysitting ever because we were meant to go to a financial seminar. Because Hubby had hurt his back helping build a tire fence over the weekend for our community, he wasn't up for it. He didn't know if he'd have to stand a long time or what.

"Hm," I thought, "I wonder if Tricia would like to go? After all, we took the beekeeping class together - she is a beekeeper who is still waiting for her bees - maybe she'd be into it? And Hubby could still go to the financial seminar - he can tell me about it later. We have babysitting - this could work!"

I called her back and she was a go. We both grabbed out equipment, got into the car, drove the 45 minutes out into some of the most beautiful scenery you have ever seen - rural, mountains on every side, and views as far as the eye can see. Beautiful sunny day, the likes of which we haven't seen in weeks.

And we did this:

2010-06-08

We caught a swarm!!!! I cannot explain to you the sheer happiness and BLISS I experienced after doing this - and during! It was AMAZING! Just...I have caught swarm fever. I told Hubby I need him to build me more hives ASAP because I NEED to do this again. And it IS swarm season, if the rain would stop again. Because this time of year, when the rain stops, it is immediately crazy hot, and the hives get full, and the bees bolt. Swarm! Beautiful, lovely, amazing swarms!

I told Tricia that if her bees don't come through somehow, we can just go out and catch her a couple of swarms, because I would LOVE to do that again. LOVE it!

So we got the bees in the cardboard box....

my amazonian bees

2010-06-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

My hands smell like beehives. Aside from a baby head, this is the greatest smell in the world to me.

We just got back from visiting our bees, who badly needed feeding, as it hasn't stopped raining here in WEEKS now, and bees won't fly in the rain. I was going to put feeder bags full of honey on the hives so they'd have some supplement to their nectar flow.

Rain makes for some tall grass, because when I got there, it looked like this:

Where are the hives? All I see is this tall grass! I got in closer and discovered that the hives were still there. I was immediately drawn to what we've been calling the weaker hive: there were bees flying in and out so much, it was like grand central at the entrance - some of them FULL of glowing yellow pollen. And understandably, there hasn't been a ray of sunshine in weeks, those girls must be starving in there! Fly, girls, fly!

I cleared away some of the tall grass nearest the hive and about four feet out. That took awhile, and then I finally had time to turn my attention to the "strong" hive, and I noticed that nothing was happening there. Nothing. No bees going in and out, no noise, just silence. Silence is not a good sign in a beehive, unless it's dusk. and even then, you'll hear humming inside. Not good. I opened up the hive and saw this:

Click for a larger view.

Bees with their heads pushed into the cells of the comb: starvation. My first thought was that I ought to have fed them so much sooner in this rain. But upon closer inspection and taking apart of the hive, I discovered this:

That's the queen cage. You can't see it, but there's a dead queen inside. Trapped, with no way to get out. The queen was never let out of the cage. That hive had no chance. New hive, new bees, no queen, no brood, and comb to build. No chance. I cannot even express my disappointment. They'd built some beautiful comb, but they were dead awhile ago. I remembered my husband asking me why the "big" hive was so quiet last time we'd been. It was dreary and cold and rainy - we just figured they were huddling inside for warmth. I had no idea - they were supposed to be the "strong" hive!

Upon inspection, I realized that the other hive was FULL - because when I went to place the feeder on the top bars of the hive, bees were literally pouring out of the top - the top! Last time we'd checked, the bees had barely built a box of comb on the bottom, and we were meant to come back and switch the boxes so they'd be building down. And here they were, two boxes brimming over with bees. I honestly didn't get a chance to properly check the box for comb, but based on the sheer number of bees pouring out, I'd say they're good.

So we took the clean empty bottom box from the dead hive and placed it at the bottom of the live hive to give them more room to build and store honey. And it was then that I noticed just how LARGE some of the bees were - I mean almost bumblebee-sized, these giants. Where did these HUGE bees come from? They were ginormous, on the bee scale. Can you see the size difference in this photo?

How about this one?

I didn't have anything for scale, but trust me, they were LARGE.Note the smaller bee on the bottom in the center there? That's the regular size of the bees - first generation, I guess. I'm wondering if this is the new generation of bees, and if I ought to be worried. I've read that smaller bees = no mites, so I'm a bit concerned about these amazon bees I've got. But I will say they are BEAUTIFUL. I was so smitten with them! I heart my girls. I talk to them when I'm there, tell them what I'm doing, call them my girls. I love them. Today Kiernen and I went in just our bee veils and they didn't so much as land on me the first time we went. When we came back in our beesuits, thinking the bigger work might require them because we were adding boxes and opening the hive, we were mistaken. They did land on me, but more to just check me out - I'd swear it.

Little girl bee saying, "Oh, hi, what are you doing here?"

I love that they do that. Then they sent out one of the larger ones when I really did get too close to their flight path - but she just buzzed me to let me know to move - which I did, and apologized, too. (In my defense, we were pulling some of the tall grass from in front of the hive - directly in front - so they'd have a clearer area). I love my little girls - they are so very beautiful and perfect and gorgeous, especially when they're all fuzzy and full of pollen. And I love how they guard their entrance - maybe those larger girls were the bouncers.

So now their hive is a little taller and looks like this:

And it is the lone hive standing. However, Hubby and I talked, and he is keen to build more boxes, and for me to put our names on the swarm list. What does that mean, you ask? It means that when a swarm comes along, (and it will if it ever gets to be summer around here again) we get to go and catch it - and take it home with us! So basically, free bees, plus we get the experience of catching them, too. We just need to make a bait box, make some more hive boxes, and get on that list.

oh, to choose a food processor

2010-06-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I made a treat for Kiernen because there was a birthday party - these delicious almond butter blondies from where else? Elana's Pantry. That woman has the BEST recipes! I am totally hooked! She also has a brownie recipe that is very similar - just add cocoa powder, basically. When I made the brownies, I burned out my hand blender and had to replace that. I seemed to have forgotten that, and this time when I made these, I burned out the motor on my beloved food processor - the one that has weathered eleven years of marriage with us - the one that has made us so much delicious food. It seems to still spin, but very quietly and accompanied by a burning smell.

Remembering that pretty much all hard plastic contains pthalates, PVC or BPA, I looked up the article I'd read on Zrecommends about food processors - I knew I'd need it one day. I've already replaced my Vitamix container with the BPA-free version long ago, and I figured one day in the future I'd need a new food processor. It turns out that Hamilton Beach makes their wide mouth food processor BPA, pthalate and PVC-free, and they are made from styrene instead.

Hmmm, thought I, styrene? Styrene, the one that causes cancer? In the comments section someone had the same concern:

“The SAN copolymer generally contains 70 to 80% styrene and 20 to 30% acrylonitrile.”
“How likely is styrene to cause cancer?
The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) has determined that styrene is a possible human carcinogen.”
So, if I interpret these statements correctly, SAN is a possible human carcinogen.

I did my own Google search and found this blog entry on which plaastics are worst from as far back as 2004. Of note:

#6 PS (polystyrene), that white spongey stuff of takeout coffee cups and clamshells, can leach styrene, a possible human carcinogen, when heated or in contact with fatty foods. #7 (miscellaneous), includes polycarbonate plastic, which contains hormone-disrupting bisphenol A. (emphasis mine)

Okay, that's polystyrene. Would the same apply to the stronger?

More searching led to this entry about plastics, with a bit more information:

Important Note: Two other types of plastic that fall under code 7 are acrylonitrile styrene (AS) or styrene acrylonitrile (SAN), and acrylonitrile butadiene styrene (ABS). Both AS/SAN and ABS are higher quality plastics with increased strength, rigidity, toughness and temperature and chemical resistance. AS/SAN is used in mixing bowls, thermos casing, dishes, cutlery, coffee filters, toothbrushes, outer covers (printers, calculators, lamps), battery housing. The incorporation of butadiene during the manufacture of AS/SAN, produces ABS, which is an even tougher plastic. ABS is used in LEGO toys, pipes, golf club heads, automotive parts, protective head gear. Our research on risks associated with AS/SAN and ABS is ongoing.

So what this tells me is they are saying, "We don't know if this is safe." Further reading led me only to chemical composition but nothing about possible leaching into food.

Back to Zrecommends, where they essentially say the same thing:

As for SAN, there are a couple of inferences there that go beyond the research we currently see. Yes, styrene is a possible carcinogen. Does that make SAN one? Not necessarily. It is not the safest plastic out there but it tolerates temperature extremes (expected of blenders) and is very strong. The best replacement for it currently is Tritan copolyester and you’ll find that in some newer, high-end blenders like the new Vita-Mixes. But other blenders are going to be either SAN, glass, or polycarbonate, and if you don’t want to go with glass, SAN is a far better choice than PC.

Now, I know the food processor we were using was very likely the old kind of container that I really even don't want to think about - but it was also somewhere between 11 and 13 years old, which could either mean it's already leached what it's going to leach or we're completely full of BPA in our food and screwed anyway.

Sigh. I have no happy conclusion here. I guess I'm going to go with the unknown element and get the styrene container from Hamilton Beach. I called the company to be sure of exactly which ones are SAN containers, and it turns out they ALL are, even the blenders. It's just what they use - my guess is because it's cheaper rather than the health concerns, but hey, I'm jaded when it comes to profit-making corporations.Is it any wonder why?

So because we don't have $1200 to spend on a stainless steel professional processor, and apparently finding a glass one is nearly impossible (at least on Google), I'm going with this one:

Note: If you apply for the Amazon credit card, you get a $40 credit and basically get the food processor for $7. I was going to buy one of the wide mouth ones - in fact, I did. But when I took it out of the box, I discovered it was so big it dwarfed my Vita-Mix. It took up an insane amount of space in my small kitchen, and it was too big to fit on my cabinet for easy storage. So no thanks - the 10-cup is just fine for my needs.

got food cravings?

2010-05-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

Ever have cravings for certain foods? Or certain kinds of foods? Or even non foods?

I've been having some cravings lately - specifically for sweets. And one thing I notice is that if I give in to that craving and eat more sweets than usual, my body goes all out of balance. I feel it emotionally as well as physically. My body sends a very specific message: "Don't DO that!"

It turns out that when we crave what we think are specific foods, often we aren't craving those foods at all. Often, we're craving foods that we think meet those needs, but in fact, the craving will be completely satisfied if we just give our bodies what they really need. And just what do our bodies need? Vitamins, minerals, and nutrition! There is a handy chart online letting us know just what foods our bodies are really asking for when we think we want sweets. I've found two versions, depending on your preferences (they both say exactly the same thing). The first, and I believe the original, is here. The second, pdf version, is here. I printed this out to tape to my cabinets, because I need the visual reference close at hand.

the garden, the bees, cinnamon bun muffins and chemtrails

2010-05-27T18:33:00.000-07:00

Summer = blog neglect, no? I give you some random updates:

~ The garden is growing. I'm learning more abut plant nutrition and the great importance of feeding the soil so it will feed you. Nutrients are crucial! Kiernen has been graciously donating his pee to feed our tomato plants, and they have NEVER been so happy!

~ The bees...we haven't seen them in a couple of weeks. The landowner went out of town for two weeks, during which the gate was locked and we were unable to visit. Then it's just been intermittently rainy and cloudy, and I don't want to do anything to the hives to make them upset - like opening them in cooler weather, letting out nest scent or heat. I keep waiting for the sun to be out when we need it to be. My plan is to treat with formic acid (or nothing), and I'm not sure. Smaller bees, as we will have having a Warre hive, tend to resist mites. Perhaps I ought to do a mite check before doing a formic acid treatment?

~ I've made these cupcakes twice in the past week. (I use butter instead of grapeseed oil and honey instead of agave, and usually less of it).

The first time I had leftover icing, so what's a girl to do but bake another batch, right? These are so good I cannot even bring myself to share these with friends - I want to eat them all myself. It is all I can do to share them with my awesome husband. Kiernen and I would both easily sit down and each eat half of this batch in a sitting. Possibly all, although realistically, that's way too much sweet for either of our bodies.

The flour to make these is crazy expensive, but you won't even care - they're that good. If you're grain-free, MAKE these. Or don't, depending on your level of self control. And trust me on this one: do them WITH the frosting. Almost painfully delicious. I thought chocolate was my downfall. Apparently I was wrong: it's cinnamon. Goddess bless Elana for her freaking amazing recipes.

~ I wish summer would just decide to be here already. Its sunny, then it rains, then it's sunny, then it rains, sometimes both at the same time. We just want the sun! Dear "military": Stop flying planes over us and dumping chemicals (Titanium,Aluminum, Barium, Magnesium, Calcium)! Just leave the clear skies alone already! WTF! (Want to know what I'm talking about? Here is an introduction to chemtrails. Want to make yourself crazy? Google 'chemtrails' and watch some of the videos. But not too many. I believe it's good to be informed, and not to dwell. Keep finding ways to feel good, most importantly.)

what if you COULD recycle markers and pens?

2010-05-01T18:24:00.000-07:00

We went out and bought Kiernen some new colored pencils today because recently a lot of his markers had run out. I was sort of pushing for colored pencils instead because I really didn't want to buy markers again, because they couldn't be recycled, that I knew of. All those markers - 5 hundred million a year, and that's just Crayola. What about Sharpie? What about Rose Art? The generic brands? And then what about ink pens???

While we were in the store, I noticed that Papermate is making a new line of biodegradable pens. On the box it says: "Biodegradable components are made from exclusive corn-based material." It also says they take about a year to biodegrade in the compost, and that they can in fact be composted. It's a step in the right direction in my mind - finding other solutions that allow them to continue to make their product. Here in Canada a four pack of these pens runs about $6.

When we got home, I noticed that the wood in the colored pencils we bought is not from rainforests, but in fact from reforested wood. Sustainable? I'm not really sure, but it's better than rainforest wood, which is where Kleenex gets its materials from for paper towels and toilet paper. I decided to write to Crayola and appreciate that effort, and to ask them to go even further. I asked them to find ways to make markers that were sustainable and/or biodegradable like Papermate had. I also asked them to use recycled packaging for all of their products.

Once I'd done that, I Googled "how to recycle markers" and I came upon this fantastic blog entry that led me to Terracycle. And do you know what? You CAN recycle markers, and ink pens, and sharpies, and and and! One of their projects is called the Writing Instruments Brigade. Since it is sponsored by Sharpie and Papermate, these are the only ones listed that they will take, but it seems that really they'll take them all. They even have international sites - like Canada!

The way Terracycle works is they collect trash from you, for which they pay .02 cents per item, to go towards the charity, school, or organization of your choice. So if you've got a school, you can get the whole school in on this thing. Win-win! I'm going to do this with my cohousing community - maybe some of the kids here can take it to their schools. If you're lookin g for which charity to support, Charity Navigator is a great website that rates charities on a variety of factors, and makes every charity transparent - including what their CEOs are paid.

future forests

2010-05-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

This morning, there was an organized tree planting in our community. We were given about 150 free trees by an organization called LEPS - a wonderful local organization dedicated to "protecting and restoring the natural environment through education, cooperation and action".

As part of the planting of all of these trees, one of our community members - our creative tree manager - decided to include the kids and anyone else who wanted to come and "adopt a tree". Anyone who wanted to went to the common house and painted a rock - with their name or the name of a loved one - a couple were of pets who have very recently passed - and then when they went to plant the trees, the rocks were placed next to the tree to mark it as "theirs".

Sadly, I was unable to make it out to the muddy part of the creek where these trees were being planted, so I managed to only get a photo of the Second Expedition on their way out to plant their trees. That's Kiernen in the yellow raincoat and Thomas hat. I am such a proud Mama. Our kiddos, planting out future forest, right outside.

we got to see the bees!

2010-04-26T15:08:00.000-07:00

It's been three weeks since the bees were hived, and we were advised to just leave them alone completely for two to three weeks. My husband had gone and put tar paper on the hives to insulate them during an unseasonably cold snap we had. It was difficult, but I put them out of my mind as much as possible, and we left them alone to see if they'd survive.

Yesterday we finally got to go out and pay them a visit. My intention was to take off the feeders and feeder boxes and tar paper, and just let them go on their own. The blueberry bushes have been in bloom, so there is plenty of nectar flow and pollen available to them right now.

As I went up to the hives, this is what I saw:

Plenty of bees flying in and out of the hives, with their legs just FULL of pollen. The healthy hive (Butterfly Zen) AND the one that we thought might be dead (Bee Zen). Just see all the activity there was? Bees were coming and going like crazy - it was a thing of beauty.

I decided to take the feeder - which was completely drained - and the feeder box off of the healthiest hive - and it was quite easy. The tar paper was stapled to it, so it slid off with the feeder box, and I was done. I ushered the bees back inside so I wouldn't crush any - I sprayed them down with my mix of honey, water, and Honey B Healthy, and they got busy cleaning themselves off and ran down into the hive. And I was able to see comb - lots of good comb on several of the top bars in their hive. Yes!

Next I went over to the lesser hive to see what was there. The feeder bag was still almost full, and when I peeked in, I didn't see any comb on any of the top bars. Yet when I looked outside the hive, I could see bees going in and out like crazy. Hm. So I stuck my face all the way down into the hive - as much as I could, in order to see the bottom box. And there, on the bottom box, was comb! The bees in that hive had begun building their comb in the bottom box rather than in the top box! Imagine my surprise - I hadn't considered that possibility. But there they were, comb all built in the bottom box, carrying in and out pollen like mad.

I decided to leave the feeder box and the tar paper on that one - I figure they need all the help they can get, because it does still get cold at night, and I want to give them as much of a chance to build themselves up as possible.

I was taking photos and of course my camera battery died and I'd forgotten for the first time in ever to bring the extras along. Sigh. But I did get some great shots of the hive entrance. My beautiful girls - all flying in, legs fat with pollen from the blueberry bushes. Happiness. My bees are alive!!!

I suppose if I was going to have a half-dead hive, the blueberry farm was a good choice to put them in - nectar flow came just a few days after we'd hived them there. And PLENTY of it!

If you want to see all of the photos I managed to take, they're here:

Blueberry Bees 25-04-2010

my delicious life in recipes

2010-04-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

This morning for breakfast I had a DELICIOUS green smoothie:

Breakfast of Champions Smoothie (makes enough for three)(not my photo - thank you, Internet)

large bunch kale
2 cups strawberries
3 bananas
2.5 cups water
large slice of lemon with peel
1 Tbs honey
2 Tbs bee pollen
3 free-range organic eggs
1 Tbs coconut oil

Then a couple of hours later I decided some brunch was in order. I made the most amazing omelette (and was too busy eating to take any photos):

Sun-Dried Tomato Omelette (serves 2)

4 free-range organic eggs, beaten
1/4 red pepper, diced
1/4 onion, diced
3 crimini mushrooms, diced
4 oz raw cheddar cheese, grated
salt and pepper to taste
diced sun-dried tomatoes, about 1/3 cup

I put the veggies on the pan to saute in grassfed butter, then added the eggs once the veggies began to soften. Over that I sprinkled the sun-dried tomatoes and grated cheese, then cooked until done. Salt and pepper to taste.

For a snack we had some leftover brownies from a party we'd attended yesterday, the recipe for which can be found here at Elena's Pantry. My neighbour and friend recently bought her book and after drooling over it, I went to her blog and copied as many recipes as I could from her website (I keep my recipes on index cards). My neighbour made her lemon bars last week - divine! And these brownies taste just like "real" brownies, I swear. They're amazing.

Because my oven runs hot and I'd not made this recipe before, I found them a tad bit dry (next time I'll lower the temperature and the baking time to adjust to my oven, and I expect they'll be perfect). So to compensate, I made frosting for them, too:

Chocolate Frosting

1/3 cup semi-soft pitted Medjool dates
1/4 cup honey
1 ripe avocado
1/3 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla

Blend in food processor until creamy.

For dinner tonight, we're having Raw Pad Thai, since we're having a raw potluck in our common house tonight.

First I marinated some mushrooms:

Marinated Mushrooms (Adapted From The Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalia Rose)

10 oz crimini mushrooms, diced
1/2 c balsamic vinegar
6 Tbs olive oil
6 Tbs maple syrup

Pour over mushrooms and marinate 2 hours - 2 days. I marinated for the day until dinner time.

Then I made:

Raw "Peanut" Sauce (From The Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalia Rose)

1 cup raw and creamy almond butter
2 tablespoons fresh ginger (I used one)
1/2 cup water (to thin)
4 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup maple syrup
3 tablespoons Nama Shoyu
4 teaspoons sesame oil (optional)
2 to 3 cloves garlic, peeled
1/2 jalapeño pepper (I omitted this, as we don't like spicy)

Blend all ingredients at high speed until smooth.

I then grated 2 carrots, spiralized 2 zucchinis, finely chopped 1/4 cup cilantro, and diced one red bell pepper

I will toss the sauce over this mix and add the marinated mushrooms on top to serve.

What a delicious, delicious life!

sugar..ah honey honey

2010-04-21T11:12:00.001-07:00

I've been becoming more aware lately of something that I've suspected for a long time. I have this thought that my body would be better off with no fruit at all - just meat and fat and vegetables. But it is something I don't want to know...because if I absolutely knew it, I'd have to give up fruit. And I am...well, I am addicted to fruit. Well, to sugar - to that sweetness. What I do notice is that when I allow myself to have more than one serving (or maybe two) a day, it creates the craving. The craving happens mostly after meals, but can sneak in when I'm hungry in between meals, as well.

I have every intention of getting a complete metabolic profile, hormone levels, and complete thyroid panel done when I next go to my local doctor - to see where I stand. I'm imagining I'll need a referral to a specialist once I've gotten the requisition for the tests written, but I'll finally have some numbers to look at...and then possibly some results to go on. I've been putting it off for so long now, for no particular reason.

What I've noticed in these past few months is that I've leveled out for the most part. What I mean by that is when I eat, I'm satisfied with the portion that my body requires. It's been...I cannot even remember the last time I overate, nor could I really imagine doing it anymore. I've noticed that more and more I eat portions and in frequencies that satisfy my body's needs rather than some craving. My natural rhythm right now is: a smoothie every morning, then around lunchtime, I'll want a really big salad with some protein. Later around three or four, I'll want a snack - maybe some fat/protein combo. Then for dinner I only want light food - not much, and nothing heavy. Sometimes I don't bother with dinner at all, instead just having another snack. And then I'm done for the day. All around 8PM at the latest.

This isn't something I tried to do, wither - this just happened with my way of eating. It's pretty cool, really. And. Inside of this, I do notice that if I allow myself "too many" sweet things, it throws my body out of balance and brings in cravings.

My solution for now is to just have 1-2 servings of fruit/sweets per day - my green smoothie in the morning, then something later maybe. We shall see how this works for me, and if I really need to cut out more. I'm also trying to wean myself from honey in my tea, which I love love love, too. I've noticed that when I began doing this the other day, I started drinking more water and less tea. Heh.

Interestingly, as I was thinking about posting about this and have been thinking about how this all applies to my body, Bunny Berry posted about the very same thing on her blo g. Great minds? I love synchronicity, and it seems that there has been much of it in my world lately.

bullet points

2010-04-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

~ Life has seemingly leveled out lately. The rush to get the bees hived is over, and now we're just leaving the bees alone. he weather has changed (I hope for good) into spring again, with warm breezes and lots of sunshine.

~ We have seedlings to think of now - tomatoes, cabbage, celery, and I've already forgotten what else. Since I cannot get to the garden in my wheelchair, I've no idea if our peas made it or not. Hopefully we'll be able to work on getting those planted this week.

~ The photo above is of Kiernen's Easter Basket. Can you see the chocolate rabbit? I MADE that. Yeah, I pretty much rock. It's got no sugar, is only made of stuff Kiernen is allowed to have. It was totally easy to make, too. Since we don't do sugar, Kiernen gets lots of little toys. Which of course he prefers anyway!

~ The house hasn't been vaccuumed since I broke my ankle. Hubby has just been too busy to do it. He almost did it yesterday. Maybe tonight? Tomorrow?

~ My body cannot handle even raw cow milk. Sigh. I don't think Kiernen's can, either. I gave us some yesterday in our tea - so not even that much - and we were both gurgling about it. Kiernen had leg pains last night, too - they wake him up - and he hasn't had those in a long long time. Luckily, we can kefir it and it becomes tolerable to us.

~ I made a new batch of saurkraut yesterday. I ran out right around the time I broke my ankle and haven't been able to make it again until now.

~ I have a friend here from St. Louis that I haven't seen in years. He and his wife, whom I haven't met, are having dinner with us tonight. I'm excited to show another friend our cohousing community and just to see familiar faces from "back home".

~ Kiernen keeps asking when we can go to St. Louis again. He misses his family there so much. Sometimes living away from family (and longtime friends) is crazy hard.

~ My ankle continues to heal. I have hope that within the week I will be able to put weight on it and try walking around a bit. This likely means I'll have to get better with the crutches now.

~ I'm kind of having fun with the wheelchair. It's super fun to roll down our ramps in the atria. Kiernen likes to "ride the Mommy ride" (sit on my lap while someone pushes the chair). I always have a very comfortable chair to sit in.

~ This weekend I got to drive one of those scooters around the grocery store. It was pretty fun. If you've got a broken ankle, might as well get some benefit from it, right?

~ This weekend I had a couple of pretty emotionally intense conversations with some neighbours/friends. They both turned out really well and ended up in clearer understanding on the part of all parties. We used some of what we've been learning in our non-violent communication course, and it shifted the whole conversation. I really saw how I was able to hear the other person, even in the midst of a charged situation - when we used reflective listening. Wow.

~ I am so ready to be walking again! I want to be able to drive my car and take Kiernen places: parks, train rides, the store, to see the bees...I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready!!!

so what about the bees? part 2

2010-04-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

The next night after work, Hubby met Mike (the expert beekeeper) out at the hives. Their visit lasted a total of ten minutes tops. Mike peeked in the "dead" hive and said to leave it be for two weeks. He said it might come back, but to give it space and see what happens. He barely peeked into the second hive, and said, "This one's fine."

He recommended tar paper for the outside of the hives for insulation, as the weather here has been unseasonably cold.* He said they had enough food in both hives, he said leave them alone for two weeks. They need to build comb, the queen needs to lay - just leave them alone.

* - In fact, today and a couple of days ago we've had severe winds, which is also not normal for this area - today it was downright frigid outside. WTF, global warming? We NEED spring! My bees need it! Bring it back! Gaia, we need spring!

Tonight Hubby went back and put on the tar paper. He said when he put his ear to the hives, he heard the happy humming sound of BEES. He didn't look in, he just put on the tar paper and left.

And now we wait. The good thing about this is in two weeks, I ought to be walking with my walking cast and out of the wheelchair! So I have that to look forward to. And if I can walk, then dag nabit, there WILL be photos.

"I deserve to rejoice in life. I accept all the pleasure life has to offer."

so what about the bees?

2010-04-08T00:34:00.000-07:00

I have a little update on my wonderful son and the thing he says at his blog over here.

I've been reluctant to update what's been happening with the bees, because I needed some time to process it and to just have some down time from all things bees. The whole process has been keeping me awake nights, and every time I wake up all that runs though my head is "bees, bees, bees" and all of the things we ought to be doing/should have done.

Without further ado, though, these are my hives. My wonderful and amazingly detail-oriented husband built them, and I painted them. Click the photos to embiggen. These are completely surrpunded by blueberry bushes (outside of this area, obviously). I'm going to ask the landowner if we can cut down these weeds and plant wildflowers in their place. I doubt he'll mind since their plan is to burn the weeds eventually (owie!).

Let us pan out for a broader view - note the pond in the background. That pond id FULL of lilypads and frogs - it is like a symphony at night. When my ankle is healed enough for me to be walking around, I'll get photos of the lilypads and more of the pond. And of course, of the blueberry bushes. Oh, wait, I've got lots of photos of the blueberry bushes from years past when we've gone picking...but they're on my other computer. Later for those, then. Again, click the photo to embiggen.

On to the saga of the bees, no?

Sigh. I've had to readjust my entire expectation - and my entire paradigm - on the bees as of late. Why? Broken ankle. More accurately, the bees are in a good spot for the bees to be in, which isn't necessarily a good spot for someone with a broken ankle to get to - especially someone who isn't all that fit and is fairly heavy. Not easy to get around on crutches and just using the one leg.

* - This photo is my husband and my friend. Those long tubes they're holding are actually the packages of bees. Nothing like we'd ever seen before - no online videos of installing these. I was hoping to take one myself, but we were losing daylight and I couldn't get to the hives, so it didn't happen. This is the only photo I have, too.

I didn't get to hive my bees. My friend who took the beekeeping class with me (who is as new to this as I am only hasn't studied my type of hives at all) and my husband (who expertly built the hives but knows next to nothing about actually taking care of the bees themselves) hived the bees for me. We had no idea this was going to happen until it was actually happening. The day was cold as heck, we were losing daylight, and the bees needed to get in their home. Kiernen was crying in the car, I was in my wheelchair and it seemed I couldn't get to the hives - decisions were made on the spur of the moment and without consultation. Mistakes were made that could have been avoided had someone stopped to talk to me about what to do. Because you know, I was mentally prepared. I'd been studying, watching videos of intstalls, asking questions of my Warre hive yahoogroup. I was the one who was ready to do this. Instead, I was here. (Note in photo you can see them walking away toward the hives through the car window.)

We returned the next day , and I was determined to see the inside of those hives. I managed to crutch over to one of them - the one closest to the pond. We opened the first hive to find that because two of the top bars had been left off of the boxes on top, the bag feeders we'd used had fallen through the hole left (duh) and crushed a large number of bees. We were pretty sure the queen was dead as well, and it really didn't look like there were many bees left in there.

I couldn't get to the second hive, though - the ground was too uneven for m crutches, and too wet. Kiernen was whining about the cold so I crutched back to the car with him to wait while my husband checked the second hive.

Apparently that one looked much better. Although it had suffered losses and the feed bag fell through just like the first one, it didn't fall on the bees. We left and Hubby dropped me off at my bee club meeting. While there, I talked with some of the experts, including the man I bought my bees from. As he was only ten minutes from the location of my hives, he volunteered to come out the next night when Hubby went after work.

blueberry bees!

2010-04-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

We have a home!!! The blueberry farm is our new home!!! I am SO happy!!! And? When I was looking for a great photo to put in this post, I found this wonderful designer, too - click on the photo to see more of their stuff - I am in LOVE with this as a shirt and I want to get one! Because my bees? They will be BLUEBERRY BEES!!!

what the world needs now

2010-04-01T21:21:00.000-07:00

Kiernen came into the room the other day with this smile on his face, looking at me.

"What's that big smile for, Sweetie, is that for me?" I asked him.

He nodded, and said "It's to help you make you feel better."

How could that NOT work?!?

Brilliant, this child.

wanna see it?

2010-03-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

For some reason I think you might be interested in seeing the wreckage of my ankle and what it looks like. Because I'm weird like that. I took these photos myself, so he angles are limited. This first one is of both feet so you can compare the swollen to the regular one. I'm kind of amazed at how the entire foot has swollen, not just around the ankle. My toes look like five little sausages, and it's all so red and purpleish.

And here you can see my ankle on the unbroken side, how that dark purple bruise wraps right around my ankle and goes all the way under the Cat in the Hat's foot. Please try to ignore the bad tattoo. I was going to get it redone this year - seriously - but now I'm afraid to let anything near that ankle for awhile. It looks like even my entire heel is bruised, which doesn't surprise me, because that's what it feels like, too.

And then here we have the break itself. Note the giant swollen area, the bruise that because of the tattoo is hard to see is completely yellow now (good, means it's healing). That large bit of dark purple on the bottom there is where the wraparound bruise begins. Difficult to tell, but again, it wraps all the way around my ankle. Don't mind the scar through Pooh's face, that was from a car accident when I was about to turn 18.

And last but not least we have my view of the ankle. That yellow you see? That's the bruise. It goes fairly far up the leg. Lovely, no?

The pain comes and goes, and every day is different in my healing. Some days are great, and I'm able to keep my leg down most of the day, allowing it to swell a bit and get the blood flowing to it. Other days are just painful no matter what, and I have to keep it elevated more, which means more time on the sofa, which means Kiernen spends lots of time watching videos on the computer. He thinks he likes that, but it's making him stir crazy, and it really is getting to him. Too much screen time affects the brain, it really does. He won't go outside with anyone but me or his Daddy, so until Daddy gets home, he is all cooped up in here with me.

It is a very stressful time for all of us right now - I couldn't have picked a worse time to injure myself this way - what with the garden wanting to be planted and the bees coming and the hives needing building and there actually being sunshine outside and us needing that sun and fresh air so desperately after winter.

Universe, what message are you sending me? Because I'm not getting it.

preparing for the arrival of the bees

2010-03-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

* - Picture linked is not of my actual hive. Photos of my actual hive to follow soon. This is, however, the type of hive I intend to use.

My hubby continues to build my beehives, because the bees! They are arriving Easter Monday - woohoo! And also? I'm freaking out! Still to do on the hives between now and then is:

~ get the hives completely put together
~ get raw linseed oil, cedar shavings and thin strips for the top bars of the hive box
~ coat the outside of the hives with raw linseed oil (and paint pretty designs to denote the different hives)
~ allow linseed oil/paint to dry
~ coat the top bars with a beeswax starter strip (to encourage the bees to build the combs in frames)
~ install the hives
~ pick up honey and formic acid evaporator from Fred
~ order non-irradiated bee pollen from Sasketchewan

The honey and pollen are both for human consumption and for mixing together to feed the bees when I get them. I've watched several videos on YouTube about how to install the package of bees, so I feel pretty good about doing that when I get the bees. It is advised to do it in the last hour of the day, so I'll do it when my hubby gets home from work - that way he can help me with any lifting that might be needed, too.

All the wood is cut for the hives but one piece (there was a knot in the original board for this piece, oops). Once it's cut, it is ready to be assembled. So: close! Tomorrow we order our pollen, and Thursday we go get honey and formic acid evaporators. In the meanwhile, my job is to call around for cedar shavings and top bar strips. And! Once the hives are together, I can get those linseed oil protected. Progress is being made, progress is being made...

Bees!

as the ankle heals

2010-03-21T17:32:00.000-07:00

Well, you'd think that being laid up with a broken ankle would give me plenty of time to update, but somehow it is not so. Why? Because I have a wheelchair, and as such, am fairly ambulatory. I can roll over to my neighbours' house, or to the common house (with help down the ramp and through the doors). Because I am in pain and have to keep my ankle elevated and immobile, however, everything I do is much much slower than it used to be. So each little task takes a long long time. So taking a shower + resting and elevating my ankle on the sofa + meals + a bit of internet = a day. And then it's time to go to bed.

But! Today after we had brunch with our neighbours in the common house, I got to do some real socializing - that was really nice, since my socializing has been confined to my house and my direct next door neighbours' house since "that fateful evening". And after socializing, I actually puttered (wheeled) my way around my kitchen (which mind you, is not much bigger than my wheelchair, and I have gotten stuck in there more than once in the chair - something like this).

Where was I? Oh, right - in the kitchen. So today I was able to out together a pot of stock, get a chicken cooking in the crockpot (seasoned and with beets), and roast some more beets in the oven. This is big, believe me - I am so proud of myself!

I'm becoming pretty adept at this whole wheelchair/crutches thing. I cannot spend too much time on the crutches on account of my leg not being strong enough to hold my weight without the BURNING sensation after a few minutes. But they're awesome for getting myself to the bathroom quickly. And that is a good thing. I rather like the wheelchair, too - it's pretty comfortable and I can get myself anywhere. As long as someone is willing to be my driver, hefting the wheelchair in and out of the car and open doors for me, I can even go OUT of the house at some point with this bad boy.

Neighbours continue to be helpful and check in on me, and I continue to completely appreciate where I live. My garden is being a bit neglected, but we'll get to it. My seedlings are growing nicely. My hives are being built by my hubby. We are clothed, we are fed, we have friends, we have clean water and we have HEALTH CARE. Life is good.

dem bones, dem bones

2010-03-18T21:31:00.001-07:00

Yep, the ankle is broken. I managed to creak of the end of the tibula, SNAP!

I was walking along the path from the trampoline to the building in which I live, and right when I got to the end of the path I had a bit more spring in my step. When I came down on my foot, it rolled under and I felt the SNAP as I went down. I knew it was broken, and I called for my hubby (still at the trampoline) to take me to the hospital. Immediately around me were my wonderful neighbours - MG, who brought me water when all the blood left my body and went to my ankle; V, who came with ice and ace bandages and bandaged my ankle; V and N bringing me homeopathics; N bringing blankets and a van; K, N, my hubby and H lifting me into the van; M and E accompanying us to the hospital so E could keep Kiernen calm and M could take me home if my hubby needed to take Kiernen home. And that was just last night.

And wow, what an amazing place to be hurt. I imagine I'll heal so fast with all of this love and support!

Then today HL brought food over - the most amazing beef stew I've ever tasted - and then all these offers left and right from neighbours to cook us food or run errands or even pick up the elusive wheelchair...WOW. I have SO much appreciation for this community!!!

I'm not allowed to put any pressure on it for 10 days, then I go get a second x-ray in ten days and we'll see. I THINK that at some point I'll be able to walk on it in the boot, but right now I'm staying off of it. We're currently looking for a wheelchair that can have my LEFT leg elevated, and oddly, every place we've called or gone to today has had only RIGHT-side ones.

Tomorrow we'll call some more places. We still haven't managed to reach the red cross, so that might be an option.

I feel strongly that I will heal quickly - N has me on a supplemental regimen that worked for him - plus our diet is for stengthening bones, so I bet I heal in record time.Also of note, Louise Hay says of ankles: "Inflexibility and guilt. Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure." The affirmation for it is: "I deserve to rejoice in life. I accept all the pleasure life has to offer."

Interestingly, I must be blind to my own life, because I am just not sure where this applies. And so I will also be contemplating and using EFT on this, as well.

and so it begins

2010-02-23T12:38:00.001-08:00

Eep! I just ordered my beekeeping equipment - exciting!

all the news is good

2010-02-23T11:50:00.000-08:00

It looks very good for me keeping bees at lour local organic farm!!! Woot! I loved reconnecting with the guys there and meeting some of the other folks involved with the farm. It is such a great place, and the energy there is - it's EARTH. I mesh well with it, I believe.

Today I got some seeds sorted out - I borrowed some from a neighbour and inventoried them - I still need to put them in little packets with instructions for myself. I made some pie, my green juice, Kiernen's breakfast, did the dishes. And just now I got the chequebook balanced. And can I say? I love the feeling of paying the balance on our credit card every month. It's a good thing.

We got the bar to hang my Vertical Herb and Veggie Garden - the hubby just needs to cut it to size tonight, and then tomorrow I can FINALLY get my seeds in there - woohoo! I'm ready to get my seedlings going inside, too - it's time to get celery and peas and parsley and tomatoes going indoors. I'm so keen! Garden!

This weekend instead of hubby building my hives, he is going to be reassembling the garden - we're taking apart the entire back garden and redoing it into long rows - to maximize the efficiency of the space and allow for much much more food production - woohoo! Then on Sunday I'm attending the first in a series of nonviolent communication courses done between our community and our organic farm - giving me even more opportunity to get to know my farm community. So exciting!

all of my insides

2010-02-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

I feel so accomplished! This morning, I:

~ made mayonnaise
~ made my veggie juice
~ made a green smoothie
~ made ketchup
~ made stock
~ got everything together in the crock pot for tonight's dinner
~ made ceviche
~ steamed butternut squash and then put it together for pie
~ steamed cauliflower and then made cauliflower salad (think 'potato salad')
~ heated up some stock for Kiernen and me to drink
~ did all of the dishes
~ started some more sprouts
~ cleaned the kitchen
~ printed out my proposal for keeping bees at my local organic farm to take to the meeting there today

Whew! Later I'll make the stock into beet soup as per Kiernen's request. We'll also have the ceviche later (it's made with oysters and crab meat).

My friend who owns the local organic food delivery brought me over a CASE of buttercup and acorn squash that needs to be used - wahoo! I also got two cases of mangoes from him yesterday, so it's a good time for lots of smoothies...

Which, by the way, because of my messed up digestion lately (lack of sleep plus stress plus too much watching of "Big Love" (I recently started watching it and am almost caught up to where it is now) has really messed me up and made me unable to digest anything)...okay. So because of my messed up digestion, I'm taking it easy on myself and having mostly liquids today and for however long. I'm also going to start taking digestive enzymes, in addition to my CLO and vitamin C. And I think adding more fermented foods isn't a bad idea, either.

I'm about to go to a meeting at my local organic farm to "create relationship" - so they can get to know me a little better, and so they might be convinced to allow me to keep my hives there alongside Tricia's. I leave in just 15 minutes! Gotta go get myself ready.

More on Curing Tooth Decay with Rami Nagel

2010-02-15T11:40:00.000-08:00

We've been working to halt and/or heal our son's tooth decay for some time now. Rami Nagel is one of the people who makes the most sense to me, as he advocates eating traditional and paleo foods for healing and remineralization.

I read a wonderful article on curing tooth decay on a great blog called Cheeseslave. The author interviewed Rami Nagel, author of the book "Cure Tooth Decay", which is the book I've been using to help us heal Kiernen's teeth.

The Single Most Important Thing To Prevent Tooth Decay
I asked Rami what he thinks is the most important thing to do to prevent tooth decay. He said we must limit anti-nutrients. Anti-nutrients such as phytic acid or oxalic acid are found in raw seeds, beans, nuts, grains and vegetables.

Foods With the Most Phytates: Nuts and Seeds
He told me that the people Dr. Weston Price studied in the Swiss Alps Recipe from Swiss/French Alps also ate 50% of their diet as grains. These people in Switzerland ate rye bread. They went to elaborate lengths lessen the anti-nutrients. They first germinated the rye, then they sifted it to remove about 20-25% of the bran. Then they would ferment it using sourdough. Rami said rye is the most easily fermentable grain.

He also told me that wheat and rye are high-phosphorous foods and for this reason it is important to eat them with calcium-rich foods. This is why the Swiss always ate their rye bread with dairy. He stressed that in particular, fermented dairy is especially good — like cheese or yogurt.

I’ve always wondered why Sally Fallon Morell advises against chocolate. Rami told me that chocolate is very high in phytic acid. Chocolate is made from the cocoa bean — it’s a ~~bean~~ seed! (We call it a bean but it is a seed.) Again, seeds are the worst. Raw chocolate is very high in oxalic acid and leaches calcium from the body.

Coffee, too, is a ~~bean~~ seed. It is also rich in oxalic acid, as is tea.

Vitamin C
Rami said that vitamin C blocks the effects of phytic acid. He said that there are only in trace amounts of vitamin C in liver. Vitamin C is one of the only vitamins not in liver.
He said that in many traditional cultures they go to great lengths to eat foods that are rich in vitamin C. In Australia they eat a certain kind of plum which is very high in vitamin C. Native Americans ate rose hips. In India and Latin America, they eat tamarind which is very high in vitamin C. Sauerkraut is also an excellent source of vitamin C.

Apparently, though, I managed to forget the bit about the fact that phytates are in nuts and seeds as well as grains, because I've been letting us have nuts and seeds way more often than I'd like to admit. GAPS (which we are following) is based on SCD, which is fairly nut-based. Yes, the nuts and seeds are all soaked and sprouted, which does reduce the phytates, but doesn't disappear them altogether, and so we still need to be very careful.

There is so much to pay attention to, so much to keep on top of. I have lots of reading to do, but I do appreciate the heads-up from the Universe to be paying attention to this. Still, getting rid of nuts after everything else we've already let go of - sometimes it just feels overwhelming.

Later in the comments, Rami Nagel added this:

Data on nuts and seeds is unclear at this time. Other than that they have equal to or more phytates than grains. And shouldn’t be consumed if someone has digestive problems, or any bone loss or tooth decay.

So the fermenting, soaking, sprouting is the way to go. an example from Rami (in the comments again):

Here is some Quinoa info just for more fun.
Quinoa Phytate Reductions (Source: Food Phytates)
Cooked 25 minutes @ 100 degrees Celsius 15-20% reduction
Soaked 12-14hours @ 20 degrees Celsius + cooked 60-77% reduction
Fermented with whey 16-18hrs @ 30 degrees C and cooked 82-88% reduction
Soaked, germinated 30 hours, lacto-fermented (with whey added I think) 16-18 hours then cooked 97-98% reduction

Rami says ideally (remember, IDEALLY) you want to first germinate or sprout the whole grain, then dry it at a low temperature (unlike the way they heat-treat oatmeal), then grind it and yes, THEN ferment it (like using sourdough).

And from this article:

Oxalic acid or oxalate is found mostly in foods from plants. Calcium combines with oxalate in the intestines. This reduces calcium’s ability to be absorbed.
Although there are many foods that contain large amounts of oxalate, eight foods have been shown to be most at fault for raising urine oxalate levels. They are rhubarb, spinach, strawberries, chocolate, wheat bran, nuts, beets, and tea.

Now we are not saying that you should never eat spinach or chocolate or nuts or beets. But these foods need to be carefully and properly prepared.

And then oxalic acid? Sheesh - do you know the list of things that DON'T have oxalic acid? It's a short list, so I'll share it with you:

Fruit
apricots
avocadoes
cherries
coconut
green (not red) grapes
lemond
mangoes
peaches

Vegetables
bok choy
cauliflower (only if well-boiled)
chestnuts
cucumber
lettuce
mushrooms
peas (only if well-boiled)
pickles
red pepper
turnips
zucchini

Animal Products
butter
cheddar cheese
eggs
kefir
meats, including fish
yogurt

Other
honey
mustard
nutmeg
salt

In the comments, a quote from Sally Fallon, author of "Nourishing Traditions":

Hi, everyone, I thought you might be interested in reading this response from Sally Fallon Morell (someone posted about this discussion on our chapter leader’s list and Sally responded):

Yes, if you are preparing properly and in the context of a good diet, you
don’t have to worry too much about the phytates. If you have good gut
flora, you make some phytase which can get rid of some. And apparently vitamin D is involved in getting rid of phytic acid in the gut. Sally

So I wondering if in parts of the world like ours, it becomes more difficult to get rid of phytates in the gut because of the lack of Vitamin D (sunshine)? So do we need to be even more careful? And how often could someone with severe decay safely eat something like sprouted sourdough rye bread (slathered in butter)?

2010-02-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

The first Tuesday of every month is our local bee club meeting. Did I mention I'm in our local bee club? Right, because I'm about to be a real live beekeeper. Did I mention I'm about to be a beekeeper? Yes? Good.

Tuesday night's club meeting was both eye-opening and slightly migraine-inducing. You see, we have speakers at our monthly bee club meetings, and this week's topic was pests, fungucides and pesticides used in blueberries. A man who works with the provincial government came in and gave us a talk - he works with blueberry farmers, but his information was helpful for our bees, as well - because most of what the government recommends to blueberry farmers to deal with the pests they encounter will kill our bees. Like 80% of it.

Synchronistically, earlier the same day I'd read a post about Bayer killing bees on one of my new bee blog haunts. Interestingly, I cannot find the exact article, but I did find this and this and this and this and if you Google "Bayer Kills Bees" yourself, you'll find enough reading to fill the rest of your day and night. So you get the picture. And here was our own provincial government using the fear tactics they always use and telling us why the blueberry farmers NEED to use Bayer products to...um, kill our bees. And shoot themselves in the foot in the process. Because no bees = no pollinators = no crops = no money = no farm = no home for farmers. Mind you, the pesticides are meant for aphids and caterpillars and leafworms and such, but there's that "unpleasant" and "unavoidable" side effect of killing the bees, as well.

What I learned from that talk solidified what I already knew, which I will share with you, my reader. Ha! see what I did there? Me reader. Because there can be only one.

Ahem. Anyway, my knowledge:

~ Mother Nature loves diversity. Look around you - do you EVER see anything growing by itself in the wild? EVER? NO. She is designed to have several plants growing together, complimenting each other, helping each other to thrive but not get all too out of control.

~ When too much of one crop (monocropping) is grown in one place, Mother Nature takes note and sends in what humans call "pests" to take care of things and restore natural order. You see, "pests" are naturally attracted to these crops, and since there are no natural repellents like other protective plants growing around, it's an all-you-can-eat buffet out there. These pests can create viruses or just eat the crops or rot the roots - they're very industrious and creative.

~ Many of these "pests" are not native pests, just like many of our monocrops aren't. They're shipped in on fruit from other countries like the US and Japan. California, I'm looking at you.*

* California has found natural solutions to these pests, however, which I will go into in a minute. We cannot be bothered to take such drastic and ridiculous action, however. It might take effort.

~ One of the newest "pests" that has everyone all freaked out is the Spotted Wing Drosophila. Here's some more of that action if you're interested. Lovely, no? This guy is basically a mutated fruit fly, so behaves as such, only the difference here is that the female of the species (cure freaky music) has a serrated ovis. What this means is that she can saw the flesh of soft fruits (including all berries, tomatoes and even grapes) and then lay her eggs inside. And did you catch the 'fly' part of fruit fly? That means that those eggs turn into - you guessed it - maggots. And in this country, there aren't many folks who would find a maggot-infested piece of fruit appetizing. Some of my friends might shrug and call it B12 or protein, but most folks - most folks aren't so keen on the maggots. And since we LOVE to export food, particularly blueberries, around these parts, that's not such good news for the farmers.

The solution around here is to BLAST those little bastards with fungucides and pesticides and lots of them, because we all know that tolerances can develop and if we use too much of the same kind of chemicals, the fly will just become immune. Oh, and guess what else? They need to be blasted every two days while the fruit is ripe. That means layers and layers of different pesticides and fungucides on permeable fruit like blueberries.....GAH! my head is going to explode just thinking about it.

Where was I besides consumed by my own disgust and rage? Oh, right - "solutions".

Interestingly, Japan has employed the solution of keeping the bush completely shrouded in a sheet/covering while the fruit ripens, in order to keep out the SWD. In addition, any ripened fruit having fallen on the ground is cleaned up - nothing is left to rot .Because anyone who has had regular fruit flies knows what they love - ripe or rotting and fermenting fruit.

California has also had success with using just hygiene - keeping the ground clear of fruit when it falls.

But here, we use machines to harvest. and here, taking the time to do things like clean up the fruit would just be too much trouble - who can be bothered? Instead, we prefer to use toxic, expensive chemicals to blast the pests away.

I just don't understand this. I just don't. Years of research and development are put into creating these products. Millions of dollars. Wouldn't a more sustainable, a kinder, gentler solution be to just train more farmers in permaculture and end monocropping? Wouldn't another solution be to just stop importing fruit from other countries, so we also stop importing these "pests"? We don't need imported fruit - we don't need oranges or avocadoes in Ferbruary for Goddesses sake. These things are luxuries, not necessities. We could learn to live without them just like Cuba learned to live without the US. And we could be healthier for it - we'd be self-reliant.

And I know - I get it. I know it's about politics and money and big business and more succinctly, agri-business. I know. But even so, I cannot get my head around it. When I am sitting in a room full of these commercial beekeepers, these are good people. These people are just trying to make a living. In the bee club, we share information - everyone is there to offer a helping hand to people like me, the novice beekeeper. The blueberry farmers, they are just doing what they're told to do. It's just...what if they were being told to be sustainable? What if beekeepers refused to work with any farmer who used sprays and wasn't using permaculture? What if our provincial government refused to endorse agri-business products and focused its research on sustainable farming practices and what it would be to live in harmony with nature rather than fighting her?

I feel saddened that people are so disconnected from their true nature that they would do such things to themselves, to the planet. There is a reason that it is called a food chain. Each link is a part of it. Each link is necessary to its strength and tenacity. If you kill the bees, you kill the pollinators. Without the pollinators, the plants cannot reproduce. Without plants, there is no food. Without food, there is no life - it is so simple!

And yet in ways, it is so complicated.

Meet your newest beekeeper

2010-02-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned that I'm going to be keeping bees this year? Because I am. In fact, I threw my hat over the fence and ordered my bees before I even have my hives made. I trust that the Universe will provide me a space for my bees. The Universe loves bees, it wouldn't leave them out. They are the pollinators! Without the bees, we have no food, no flowers, no life!

I cannot wait to be a real live beekeeper. My dear wonderful handy loving husband is making my hives for me. Making them! I'm going to be using Warre hives - they're designed for natural beekeeping and with the bee in mind. I found detailed instructions and WAY more at this wonderful blog, The Bee Space. I'll most likely (Universe? Please?) be keeping my bees on a wonderful local organic farm not too far from here - it's where I often buy my local produce, and a few of my cohousing neighbours own shares there.And then the produce I but from them? Will have been pollinated by MY bees! This is a happy substitute for having my very own land to grow my very own food on and keep my very own bees on. Bees!

I very much wish we could keep bees on our property here, but unless we go rogue and do it on the sly, we cannot. Of course, it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility, as long as no one finds out...and the whole gardening team would benefit....food for thought.

On the subject of planting

2010-02-04T12:14:00.000-08:00

From a book I read recently called, "Notes From the Cosmos" by Gordon Michael Scallion:

On the subject of planting. Plant right after the new moon. 3-9 days after. Better to do it late in the day as it gives (the seeds/plants) time to work at night.

Seeds can be super-charged the month before by exposing them to the direct rays of the full moon. Place on canvas or burlap for about an hour - will yield a very fertile and dynamic crop.

Can't hurt to try it, right? That and soaking the seeds in my mouth to give it my own DNA implant Anastasia-style is how I intend to plant my seeds this year. Most, anyway. I just missed this month's full moon!

In support of bees

2010-02-03T12:20:00.001-08:00

The first Tuesday of every month is our local bee club meeting. Did I mention I'm in our local bee club? Because I am going to be keeping bees this year. Oh, right - did I mention I'm going to be keeping bees this year? Because I am. In fact, I threw my hat over the fence and ordered my bees before I even have my hives made. I trust that the Universe will provide me a space for my bees. The Universe loves bees, it wouldn't leave them out. They are the pollinators! Without the bees, we have no food, no flowers, no life!

I cannot wait to be a real live beekeeper. My dear wonderful handy loving husband is making my hives for me. Making them! I'm going to be using Warre hives - they're designed for natural beekeeping and with the bee in mind. I found detailed instructions and WAY more at this wonderful blog, The Bee Space. I'll most likely (Universe? Please?) be keeping my bees on a wonderful local organic farm not too far from here - it's where I often buy my local produce, and a few of my cohousing neighbours own shares there.

It's time for planning the garden!

2010-02-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

Tap tap tap. Is this thing on? Um, yeah, it has been awhile, hasn't it? Pretty much since Kiernen and I started our GAPS diet adventure, which for the first bit as least is mostly cooked foods. And being in the kitchen and cooking so much has left me with little time for blogging. But spring is coming! and I've been eating more and more raw foods lately, and of course I have my raw veggie juice every day along with my green smoothies (not every day, but often) as my daily fruit. And today I had the most delicious salad! I tell you, though there are definitely benefits to the GAPS way of eating, my true desire is to have it be as raw as possible - raw GAPS.

With spring on the way, my brain is filled with garden planning and seed catalogues, and this year, beekeeping! And with all of that happening, I just HAVE to share about it, yes? And so I dusted off this old raw blog...

I want to try something different with my herbs this year - I notice just how many fresh herbs I use, and I want to be able to grow much more of them. But how, with so little extra space?

Oh, maybe like this!

I am definitely going to do this - this is perfect for my herb garden!

Parsley, oregano, mint, basil, DILL!!!! Woohoo!

I'm also going to find somewhere to pick some wild chamomile - it grows EVERYWHERE around here - and grow some of that in my kale garden. I really want to learn about companion planting and permaculture...

we really can heal these teeth

2009-09-05T01:08:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of freaking out.

You might remember that I've been slowly transitioning my son to a diet meant to heal his teeth. This diet includes lots of raw animal fats, including grass-fed butter, high vitamin butter oil, cod liver oil. It also includes things like bone marrow, rare meat(grass-fed), bone broths, fermented veggies, lots of wholesome raw foods.

The only sweeteners we were using were honey (raw, unheated) and the rare occasional maple syrup on pancakes (no flour). No grains, no sugar, very little dairy, and then only raw cheese. I was also letting him still eat fruit as a part of the raw foods, although we'd begun to limit it a bit.

Until today, that is. I looked into his mouth because I'd noticed for three nights now he's been complaining that a particular tooth hurt when we brushed, and since it has been consistent, I wanted to see. Back bottom molar on his left side. BIG hole. Just crumbled away.

Shit. Yeah, so I am freaking out, because I thought that we were getting somewhere, even with the whole transitioning thing, but after I saw that hole, I told him straight up, "Okay, I think we've really got to get serious about healing your teeth. You've got a big HOLE in your tooth. You aren't supposed to have HOLES in your teeth like that. I think we're not going to be able to eat fruit anymore. At all. At least for awhile, until your teeth heal."

Of course he cried, because FRUIT! And I intend to take this on with him - I refuse to make him not have the one food he most loves in all the world while I eat the very same right in front of him. Completely not fair. And so Kiernen and I are going fruitless - or at least, minimal fruit. and by minimal, I mean ONE serving a day, of low sugar fruit like berries or something.

I feel like such a complete and utter failure as a parent right now. I feel like a shitheel of a mother. I've known about this decay and the crumbling of the enamel since it has been happening, since he was 6 months old. He already had his top four front teeth extracted because of this and one of them breaking. (NEVER AGAIN, BTW. NEVER.) I've known that there was SOMETHING we could do nutritionally to heal/re-mineralize teeth all of this time, I just wasn't totally sure what, and then I had this STUPID idea that I needed to let things be natural and some shit about deprivation. Not wanting to tell him he cannot have/etc. Issues from my own deprived childhood rearing their ugly heads, unbeknownst to me...

And I read:

"Cure Tooth Decay" by Ramiel Nagel

"Gut and Psychology Syndrome" by Natasha Campbell-McBride

"Nutrition and Physical Degeneration: A Comparison of Primitive and Modern Diets
and Their Effects" by Weston A. Price, MS., D.D.S., F.A.G.D.

"GAPS Guide" by Baden

"Breaking the Vicious Cycle" by Elaine Gottschall

And a great article that summarizes well and offers even more resources:

You Can Heal Your Child's Teeth by Ramiel Nagel

It has taken me THIS long to realize not only what to do, but that I could actually do it. It took my now dear friend Baden moving into my community with her son who she healed of autism through this diet to see that yes, you CAN tell a child he cannot have a food that his friends are eating and He WILL BE OKAY. I really didn't know this. I was so worried about some kind of emotional scarring. But I see her son and how absolutely at PEACE he is with the world, and how GROUNDED he is in his body. I watch other kids in our community completely out of their minds because of the amount of wheat/sugar that is in their diet. I really, really see the difference. One child here is so volatile when he is fed certain foods that he literally cannot be around other kids, because he comes out just swinging away and screaming his head off. He literally loses his shit after he eats certain foods - just becomes out of his mind.

I see already the difference that removing these foods is making for Kiernen - taking out wheat and sugar altogether has made an AMAZING difference (at the same time adding in bone broths and lots of fats). My own son is now much more relaxed and able to handle most upsets (except the little boy who loses his mind, he is still very much affected by him and they both end up in physical scraps together). He is more confident in himself and he will be away from us, his parents, for extended periods of time - this was unheard of before. UNHEARD of. Other people in our community are seeing it, too, because they've now watched him grow since he was 14 months old and they KNOW how he was.

Just last night we were in the common house dining room talking to some guests who came to visit all the way from The Farm. yes THE The Farm. As in "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin, them who brought midwifery BACK to the US. So you know, I was VERY interested in hearing them talk about what it took to create that community and how it was able to sustain long term, etc. I'd read their book, "Voices From the Farm", and was even more enthralled. My husband and I both were, and wanted to hear what they were going to say.

after the potluck in the dining room (for which we brought our own meal instead and just joined them), Kiernen ran off with the other kids into the Playroom. Of note, he almost always request accompaniment into the playroom, so this in and of itself was impressive. But THEN he stayed out there for like two or more hours (who pays attention to time?) with all of the other kids AND one or two other parents, only returning every now and again to touch base and give me a big hug. Then off he'd go again into the wild blue yonder. Without either of us. Not even asking us to come.

WHOA.

Tonight he and I were watching a bit of the screen (he LOVES that darn YouTube, and has been feeling a bit under the weather lately, so I allowed it for a while before bedtime). All of a sudden he turns to me and says, "I love you, Mommy," and lays a big ol' snuggle on me. MELT!!!

And when I told him time was about up and only one more YouTube vid and then bed? He did not scream. He did not cry. he did not even whine. He said, "Okay," and searched and searched for just the right video to watch as his LAST video of the night. Usually? There are tears and meltdowns and DRAMA. So WHOA.

And? Did I mention? The child is bathing - willingly and even, dare I say it, frequently. I almost never ask him to take a bath anymore - instead, he informs me that he is dirty and he needs one, and I fill the tub for him, and then in he goes - and plays there for like an hour while I read email or some such.

Freaking amazing.

If anyone EVER tells you that diet has nothing to do with healing? You send them to me or my dear friend Baden. Because we will most certainly regale them with our tales of healing (hers are FAR more dramatic than my own thus far, because her son was Autistic, like banging his head against the floor until it bled Autistic, like screaming all night in terror Autistic, like he could NOT talk Autistic, like he couldn't even have food TOUCH his lips without vomiting profusely Autistic. And you would NEVER guess it to meet him - because he is happy, shining, glowing with health, mellow, sweet and flowing little guy - ALL because of their amazing program).

So yeah. I have Baden to thank for helping me to realize that I really CAN do this, and that it really is TIME. And I can even take out the fruit. I really can. Because my son's health, MY health, these are worth it. Because really, would we rather have fruit? Or teeth?

camping with special foods

2009-08-31T22:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, am I proud of myself! I just returned from an entire weekend of camping with my two guys and we had only our prepared food the whole weekend. I mean, I managed to prepare enough food beforehand by spending ALL of Thursday in the kitchen preparing foods we could eat. Amazingly, we were well-fed the whole weekend, and no complaints.

A favourite, which I'd been wanting to make for awhile but never had THAT many red peppers at once, was Carmella's Pepperama Wraps. So delicious! I filled them with raw sunflower refried beans, cucumbers, guacamole, red peppers and lettuce. A few nonraw friends tried them, and they loved them! I am always so delighted when that happens - I love sharing my delicious raw fare, because I just KNOW that if people knew that raw tasted like this, they'd never doubt - we'd ALL be raw!

So apparently with a bit of preparation, we can camp with all of our special diets, and everyone can get fed. Maybe I just need to spend a whole day in the kitchen every now and again and just have food made for the week that way...

unlikely. But good to know it is possible.

Don't use that SIGG bottle!

2009-08-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

Swiss sports and children's bottle maker SIGG has admitted what many consumer advocates have suspected for years, but never proven: That the epoxy lining used for years in SIGG bottles - which they secretly swapped out for a new liner last summer - contained the hormone-disrupting chemical bisphenol-A. There's more to the story than that, but the bottom line is that this company is in a very vulnerable position, and there are a couple of factors that will make it hard for them to claim the high road on this issue.

Full article here.

I don't use a SIGG anymore, I and my whole family use Kleen Kanteen, but I used to use a SIGG, and many of my friends did and do use them. I've got to give a giant WTF on this one, why would they even MAKE a decision to use this stuff when they KNOW that the reason people even BUY their bottles is to get away from this stuff???

This is actually one of the reasons I switched to stainless steel - I'm pretty sure I know what is in it, and even so, I change the water every day, I never let it sit. Water takes on the properties of whatever it is housed in, so I don't take any chances.

raw paleo

2009-08-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

For myself, I am finding it is an interesting balance, one which I am still trying to find. I recently read Aajonous Vonderplanitz's "Recipe for Living Without Disease", and then online, the first five chapters of his first book, "We Want to Live". It gave me much to think about. He follows the primal diet and is a raw omnivore. He stresses very much the importance of healing through lots of raw, grassfed fats and raw, grassfed flesh, unheated honey, and fresh vegetable juices. He takes very little fruit - like 1/2 cup per day. I know his style is what folks might consider way out there, but it resonates with me on some levels. I am still sorting out which ones.

lots of maybe boring stuff about what I'm feeding my kid and myself

2009-08-18T23:01:00.001-07:00

I've noticed that with Kiernen, even as I make these little changes in his/my eating, I am seeing subtle changes in him and his navigating the world, even if I am sometimes unable to pinpoint exactly what those differences are, because our kids are always growing and changing, and is it the diet? Or is it a phase? Or or or???

Fortunately I have outside eyes, other eyes like Baden, who is an expert on diet and changes it creates, and is my greatest support in taking on this new way of eating for myself and Kiernen.

The other day we were talking about the changes and I was saying just what I said above, and she mentioned to me that she had noticed a difference in him in just the past couple of weeks, which is about how long I've been really implementing these changes. She mentioned that I had told her that he takes a bit to warm up, especially to adults, but that all of a sudden in the past two weeks he has been really interacting with her, and even been willing to stay in the room without a parent with her or other adults around. That was pretty much unheard of before - Kiernen would never stay in a room without Mama or Daddy there, not for an extended period of time. If it was just kids, he might for a bit, but with other adults, no way - it was an unpredictable element for him. And both Baden and her sister, who is here frequently as well, have noticed this sudden change.

Is it his diet?

And. He has all of a sudden become just fine with baths. We've been working with him on this for awhile now - we realized we could get him to take a bath if he had a friend in there with him, and then for awhile there it was every time, because it was literally the only way he'd bathe. But recently, just in the past two weeks, he has been fine to the point of my saying, "Hey, you need a bath," and he just says, "Okay," and climbs in. And that's that.

Is it his diet?

In the past two weeks, we've been slowly transitioning. I am finding that it is important to add more things in when I am taking other things out. We've done away with wheat and sugar altogether, in any form other than fruit or honey. No fruit juices, even, unless I've personally made them myself and they are very fresh. But even then the only ones I'll really make for him are watermelon juice, which he rarely drinks, and orange juice, which we mix with his "foot and leg juice" (magnesium).

We tried cod liver oil, we really did, but he took it all of two times before the mere mention of it brought him to sobbing. I'm thinking to order some flavoured stuff - they have these flavoured gels and such - we'll see.

We're doing bone broths as often as we can - it's hit and miss with my soup recipes, so we're working with that - most of the time they're wonderful, but when they're not, they're not, and its disappointing. We all like really good tasting food, so we don't really settle for anything else.

I'm also adding lots of raw fats, like grassfed butter, avocadoes, raw cream (if he tolerates it - we're trying raw cow milk kefir right now to see how we do with it). I also use the high vitamin butter oil as well, about 1/2 tsp per day when I manage to remember it.

I'm wondering if I need a checklist of some sort, as I seem to forget things I mean to remember daily. Yeah, I believe I need a checklist.

We're trying to do the baby calm daily, as well, generally before bed, as it helps with a good night's sleep. Probiotics are another one I am trying to manage to remember daily. Checklist needed!!!

Foods...well, I'm working on that one. Lots of eggs, some fruit - still lots of fruit but making a transition to less, gradually...he won't eat salads or drink veggie juices, so I rely on green smoothies for greens, which he will drink a little of every day. Soups. Raw grawnola (made with nuts, seeds, etc) for cereal if he likes (I need to make some, though, as we haven't had any in awhile). Chicken, salmon, homemade veggie burgers, homemade but burgers...

Yeah, I am still working on foods for him, because there is still this level of picky, but still something I can work within for the most part, I just have to get creative about it.

I'm watching his teeth closely, and his behaviour, as well. Both are pretty steady right now - not getting worse, even possibly getting better.

I notice immediately when he hasn't had enough food or if he has accidentally ingested a food that isn't working for him - today we went to out favourite organic fair trade coffee shop to hang out a bit. I got him a kids smoothie - because it is just fruit and ice - and immediately after beginning to drink it he went a bit loopy and got silly. Nothing too over the top, and most people wouldn't have noticed really, but I saw the difference immediately. I tasted the smoothie and I could tell it was just too concentrated, the fruit, so I mixed my unsweetened rooiboos iced tea with it and diluted it greatly. Not only did it taste amazing, it really did the trick - he was much calmer after that when he drank his smoothie. In future I believe I am just going to make him my own kids sized smoothie or hot chocolate with my own ingredients and being it there and put it in their cup for him - so much safer.

I look forward to being able to get more raw fats into him - more kefir maybe, and raw cream - I have a source for these, I just need to make sure we both do okay with them before proceeding and making them a permanent part of his eating.

So yeah - also, what he eats, I am eating. Oh! also the raw cheese - although I believe it important to make it grassfed - I've introduced some, and though he doesn't seem to be having any reaction to it other than going back to pooping every other day, I am not faring as well (it makes me break out, my skin is a mess). He LOVES being able to have cheese, so I am going to get some cheese from the raw milk lady and see if that makes a difference.

birthday party happiness

2009-08-12T13:16:00.000-07:00

The birthday party was a success. It went off fantastically, and everyone both had a good time AND enjoyed the food. My son had a great day, he got lots of amazing gifts, and almost all of his friends got to be there - he was delighted.

We decorated the common house dining room with Tibetan prayer flags, and just as we'd put up the ones we had, a neighbour came in and offered hers as well, so we had a great amount of them. It was lovely! We did blow up some balloons, because the kids just have so much fun with them - our one eco-blunder.

I had two crafts, and most of the kids did both - making their own party hats AND making decorated jars to hold whatever they liked. I loved seeing all of the different interpretations of how to decorate those jars - such creativity!

The wonderful thing about having parties in our cohousing's common house is having the playroom right next door to the dining room - whenever we'd be between activities, the kids would naturally go into the playroom and have a great time. When we were ready for the next thing, we'd simply call them in, and everyone would come running happily - singing 'Happy Birthday'! Opening presents!

Everyone LOVED the mini cupcakes AND the watermelon cake! I got a bazillion compliments and suggestions of opening a business. I got one request to do the food for our little friend's birthday, because his Mama says, "I do practical, you do presentation. I need someone who does presentation to do his cake." I am honoured by it all.

The nice thing, too, about serving only fruit and nothing with refined sugar or wheat is that even though all the kids are fueled up by healthy food, there are no crazy sugar rushes, and everyone gets along. It is amazing seeing the difference. AMAZING. The kids were all playing together nicely and no fights erupted. Contrast with the next night when another child (who shares the same birthday as my son) had his (regular) cake in the common house. The kids were wired and immediately after eating it, a four kid fight erupted that caused all the parents to run out to break it up. I am SO glad that I've taken refined sugars out of my sweet boy's diet - I really AM seeing a difference.

What a wonderful day - I can truly say that Sunday was for Kiernen (and us) a day TRULY lived to its very fullest. Bliss.

double chocolate brownie cupcakes

2009-08-09T01:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my son's birthday party. Er, scratch that - TODAY. I really ought to be asleep.

I managed to get him to agree to the watermelon cake (with Spiderman on top!) but he also wanted chocolate cake, so I came p with an alternative that will hopefully satisfy him - raw chocolate mini cupcakes with creamy chocolate frosting.

I went through all of my little recipe cards and finally managed to find a combination that works for me - I used a modified version of Kristen Suzanne's raw chocolate brownies and a slightly modified recipe for frosting I found on Raw Freedom Community (I cannot find it or I'd not only link to it, I'd copy and paste)...

For the Cake/Brownies:

1/3 c cashew flour (after cashews have soaked and dehydrated)
2/3 c cocoa powder
3 Tbs coconut oil
2 1/4 c pecans, soaked and dehydrated
dash salt
1 tsp vanilla
6-7 medjool dates, pitted and soft
3 Tbs honey

Process all in food processor. Press into 8x8 pan for brownies or into mini cupcake molds. Top with favourite frosting with fruit or raw whipped cream garnish.

For the Frosting:

1/3 c dates, pitted
1/4 - 1/3 c honey
1 avocado
1/3 c cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla

Process in food processor until smooth. Use to frost brownies or mini cupcakes. There might be some left over, but I'm pretty sure there won't be for long - this stuff to me tastes like "real" frosting - only without all the icky overly sugared flavour.

Enjoy!

* The photo above isn't mine, but it is what the cupcakes ended up looking like, so is why I am using it (mine would be minus the chocolate shavings). I found it and some delicious recipes here.

the party is coming together

2009-08-01T00:14:00.000-07:00

We have been in the midst of a heatwave. In BC, Canada. It boggles the mind - it feels like it did in summer in St. Louis, and yet here we are on the mild west coast, where it is supposed to be like 80 degrees out there, tops. And you see, the weather is one of the myriad of reasons we LEFT St. Louis. Oh, and because we always always always have mild summers, almost no one has air conditioning, either. And so we've been spending lots of time with our neigbours in our air-conditioned common house (think clubhouse like in an apartment complex) - sharing meals, watching movies, playing games, etc. Because all of our units are way too hot to live in!

Thankfully today the heat let up a bit and we were actually able to spend some time outside. Tomorrow we're planning more of the same.

When I'm not trying to stay as still as possible because I really haven't the energy to do anything else in this heat, I've been busy making all sorts of different "cake" recipes - and I use that word loosely - in preparation for Kiernen's birthday party. I even made ice cream bars today, which sadly in the end turned out nothing like I'd hoped, so back to the drawing board on that one. But there's hope! I recently accidentally discovered these when I was looking for silicone popsicle molds, and so I've ordered them both. Kiernen actually picked out which ones we got, because * I * wanted the hearts and stars.

Anyway. We're doing the watermelon cake, AND little raw chocolate cupcakes with frosting. Food is still sort of up in the air, but at least I'm getting somewhere with the cake part. I don't remember having this much difficulty planning the party last year, and I went way over the top.

Is it the heat?

delicious wild edibles - yellow sorrel

2009-07-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

Does this look familiar? You've likely seen it everywhere - as a weed in your garden, growing in parks, through sidewalk cracks - this plant is HEARTY! I've only ever known it as sourgrass my entire life, because that is what my mother told me it was called when I was a young child. We'd pick it and eat the leaves, just a few. They are lemony and DELICIOUS! I've been telling all of my neighbours about this plant and they, too, have been adding it to smoothies and salads and just eating it alone.

Recently we've had the valueable addition of a master gardener to our community. Always, always I've wanted to know the proper name for this plant, and now, now I finally got to ask her! It is oxalis stricta, or more precisely, yellow sorrel. Becausze I now know its proper name, I was also finally able to Google it and find out other desirable tidbits about this delicious plant.

From Wikipedia:

All parts of the plant are edible,with a distinct tangy flavor (as is common in all plants in the genus Oxalis).

The leaves, flowers, and pods of the plant are sometimes added to salads for decoration and flavoring. Though these can also be chewed raw (along with other parts of the plant, not including the root) as a thirst quencher.

The leaves can be used to make a flavored drink that is similar in taste to lemonade, and the whole plant can be brewed as a tisane that has an aroma somewhat like that of cooked green beans.

The juices of the plant have been extracted from its greens as a substitute to common vinegar.

Practical uses

An orange dye can be obtained by boiling the whole plant.

Medicinal uses

Oxalis stricta contains large amounts of vitamin c, allowing it to, with enough intake, help prevent diseases and medical conditions such as scurvy, hypertension, vasodilation, diabetes mellitus, and the common cold; as well as help reduce the risks of stroke, certain types of cancer, and cataracts.

Also, an infusion of the plant has been used to treat fevers, stomach cramps and nausea. A poultice of the plant has been used to treat swellings.

Isn't that AMAZING??? Not only is it delicious, but it is full of Vitamin C! It can treat fevers, stomach cramps, and nausea! It can be made into a poultice to treat swelling! No wonder it is so ubiquitous! We can use it for all sorts of things!

And now I know. And now you know, too. So be careful when you're out there weeding, you never know what you might be throwing away that is full of goodness for your body.

his birthday is coming!

2009-07-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

Once a month is about my speed during the summer, eh?

My son's 4th birthday is coming up. And because we've gone and switched his diet around, I cannot do the grand and crazy cake I made last year, which was an entire gluten-free train.

I CAN make some SCD type cakes, which would be baked, but I was also thinking of something like this:

Directions can be found here.

Or this:

Original here.

Or some combination of both. He wanted me to incorporate Gordon the Train into his cake - he wanted Gordon to BE the cake, actually. But if I make the cake like the first one, I believe I can actually have a little track going around the cake upon which a TOY Gordon could ride, and that might do it for him. I could also have little giraffes and other small animals upon the cake, as well.

Since we are celebrating his birthday on August 9th (he turns 4 on the 10th), I am thinking about this constantly - going over and over things in my head and trying to figure out what the best options are.

For snacks, I was thinking of little nut ice cream parfaits with chocolate mousse ice cream and cashew whipped cream. Cut veggies, of course, with some raw dips to go with them maybe.

Any suggestions are welcome, too! He loves giraffes, so I am trying to incorporate giraffes and trains somehow...

healing the family

2009-06-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

I've been busy in my mind rearranging our list of acceptable foods - we're shifting our diets again, focusing on gut healing. Using a combination of SCD (the Specific Carbohydrate Diet), raw foods, fermented veggies, Body Ecology...

Essentially my beautiful son has had some teeth issues since he's had teeth - the issues being that his enamel is soft and crumbles easily. He has had the top four front teeth pulled - when he was about 18 months old - and I am not at all confident that it was the best decision I could have made for him*, although at the time I thought it was my only option.

* - Not at all coincidentally, Louise Hay says that teeth issues are about feeling like one is making the wrong decisions.

I've lately been doing lots and lots of reading about nutrition and teeth, including Weston A. Price's "Nutrition and Physical Degeneration" and Rami Nagel's "Cure Tooth Decay: Heal And Prevent Cavities With Nutrition".

Also recently a new friend moved into our cohousing, and her story was amazing: she had healed her son's autism with nutrition, a program called GAPS, which is essentially a more organic and more raw version of SCD. My friend, incidentally, has even written a book about this program, called "GAPS Guide", which she generously gave me as a gift upon learning of my interest in the program. Her son also had similar teeth issues, and many of the kids on this program have other similarities to Kiernen, as well.

Honestly I'm as excited as I am anxious about beginning this program - I've seen it work for other people, I've even done SCD for awhile for gut healing, and it did make a difference. I'm wondering how on earth I'll get this picky kid to take cod liver oil or eat fermented veggies, but I've read lots of stories of parents who had kids just like mine who now beg for these things and no longer ask for the french fries or the breads.

For example, I was listening to an interview on the Raw Mom Summit with a woman named Gina LaVerde who had an experience with her own son that was very similar to my friend's. The Body Ecology Diet is very similar to SCD, the differences being so minute they are almost interchangable (body ecology is less to no fruit, for example, and it DOES allow Stevia, where SCD doesn't (although many on the SCD do use Stevia)). It was a great interview, very informative, and it felt to me like the Universe just giving me a nod with the path I've chosen for us.

I tend to go through a significant amount of preparation before "officially" undertaking any change in our lifestyle like this, and this time is no exception. In addition to reading as much as I can, including books and online forums, I am also little by little changing what we have in our pantry - using up certain things and not replacing them, buying more of other things we'll be using more, etc.

I've also been talking with Kiernen about his teeth and his belly and what changes we'll be making - I keep reminding him about not eating wheat or sugar, and what kind of things contain both of those. We talked about how I can make him these foods at home now, ones that don't have this stuff in them, and so far he has seemed satisfied with that. This is going to be as much a learning experience for me as anyone else - it is taking me a bit out of my comfort zone and into new territory.

We shall see where it all leads.

blueberry muffin smoothie

2009-05-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

It might sound kind of odd, but this smoothie I made this morning tasted like blueberry muffins to me. Delicious!

To make approx 2 quarts:

2.5 cups water
1 cup blueberries
1 bunch chard
1 mango
3 frozen bananas
1 tsp cinnamon

Blend all in Vita-Mix and enjoy!

summertime recipes

2009-05-05T18:49:00.000-07:00

Cinnamon Mango Delight

1-2 c water
1 mango
2 bananas
greens to taste (I use 1/2 bunch)
1 tsp cinnamon
1-2 eggs
1 Tbs coconut oil

Blend in Vita-Mix. Divine!

Strawberry Spinach Salad

Dressing:
2 Tbs sesame seeds
1 Tbs poppy seeds
1/4c honey
1/2 c olive oil
1/4 c vinegar (I use apple cider or balsamic)
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp Worstershire sauce
1 Tbs minced onion

Put all in jar and shake, or whisk together in bowl.

Salad:
sliced strawberries
slivered or sliced almonds
spinach

Toss dressing over salad and refrigerate, or just eat like we did :-)

EFT for fear of the water

2009-05-03T00:08:00.000-07:00

Wow. What a great reminder from the Universe and myself.

My beautiful son has had ongoing issues off and on with bathing - he doesn't like to get wet, he becomes afraid of the water, and he won't take a bath for weeks, which turn into months...We wash him with a washcloth, but it really really isn't the same. And I've found really only one way to get that hair clean. The bath.

Mostly we sort of don't know what to do about this - it has abated in the recent past, and he took baths willingly and happily - until I took him swimming. And then because I insisted on washing off the chlorine and washing his hair that night, he freaked out again and hasn't taken a bath since.

So it's been awhile, and his hair was starting to get not only sort of heavy from not washing it, but also there was some sticky stuff in there causing it to tangle. So today I said enough and called time on the bath. I told him about his hair and how we wanted him to get clean. I told him it was really the only way I knew to get his hair washed, and I told him we were going to do it tonight.

Kiernen replied, "No, Mama, I don;t want to take a bath! I'm scared of the water."

I tried to find out wherefore came this fear, to no avail. He would only repeat that he was scared of the water. I remained calm, I intended to hear his feelings and find a way to give him a bath without him freaking out again. After all, he has done this in the past - this has previously been a fun thing for him. We have all sorts of fun little water toys for him to play with in there.

And I had the brilliant idea to tap. For anyone reading this who isn't familiar, I'm referring to EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is an emotional, needle free version of acupuncture that is based on new discoveries regarding the connection between your body's subtle energies, your emotions, and your health. EFT has been reported successful in thousands of cases covering a huge range of emotional, health and performance issues. It often works where nothing else will.

I'd used it a couple of days ago when we were talking about the bath previously. I tapped on him, saying, "Even though I'm scared of he water, Mommy and Daddy love me very much." And then, "Mommy and Daddy will be there for me, they will keep me safe. I've had fun playing in the water before - I played with my boats and my turtles and I had a lot of fun. Baths can be fun, I remember that. I could take a bath. I would be safe. Mommy would be right there with me. It could be a lot of fun."

He asked, "Me?" as I began to tap, and I let him know that yes, we're tapping for him. Meanwhile, MBD was downstairs getting the bath ready.

I did the very same thing this evening. When I finished, he needed to pee, so I got his preferred potty for him. When he finished peeing, he said, "I want to take a bath."

Off we went down the stairs. He willingly took off his clothes and then he even climbed into the tub with no help. And he got to playing with his toys like he did this all the time. I talked a bit about washing his hair while he was playing, and he said no, he wanted to play, so I said, "Okay, when you're almost finished with your bath, we'll wash your hair. Remember, we need to wash your hair to get out all of the dirt and that sticky stuff. But you play now, and I'll come when you're finished and wash your hair."

And at the end of the bath, he was fighting and protesting and beginning to cry about washing his hair, and since he was worked up, I did surrogate tapping on myself, making sure to speak clearly so he could hear me. And do you know, at the end of it, he picked up a cup and poured water on his own head. It was amazing. We got his hair washed with his help, and no tears, and then we whisked him out of the tub and got him all dried off. And all went quite well.

beekeeping field day

2009-04-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today we got to go on a field day in my beekeeping course - which meant we got to go play with the bees! It was fantastic, and we learned a lot. It was really interesting to see the difference in how the hives were handled, the sizes, and the results of those differences. We split into two groups - the hives in our groups weren't totally full, there was space for the bees. We made sure and kept a flight path clear for the bees while we were looking at them so they wouldn't get angry. Some folks had veils - a few of us didn't and we were fine with it. The bees in our group were calm, no one got stung, we got to see the frames and see the bees - and the queen! We got to see larva and drones and workers and capped honey and even little tiny bee eggs.

The second group's colonies were overfull, and one of them might not have had a queen. (This makes bees uneasy to begin with.) They left no flight path for the bees, and they were all crowded around the hives and very excited about seeing the bees. And those bees grew angrier by the minute - they were flying all over the place, and stinging anything in their paths. LOTS of people got stung over there, and even if they got anywhere near there. I stayed very clear of those hives, even when they were doing a second demonstration with them.

It was very interesting to see the differences, and very informative. Bees like a relaxed environment - they don't like to be too crowded. they don't like lots of new smells - thus the smoke, to make everything smell the same - and they don't like folks wearing dark colours. When they see black, they think bear, so they sting. They cannot see white, so light colours are preferable, as they keep you out of harm's way. I wore a light shirt but covered it with a read hoodie (it was chilly out), but bees don't see red so well - they see it as grey. So I believe it is harmless. I didn't get stung anyway, and I wasn't wearing a veil.

It was a very interesting day - there is so much more to bees than one might think - SO much more! And if one is into beekeeping, one has lots to learn about bee diseases and pest control as well - apparently there are many threats to bee populace, more than you'd ever guess. And we'll be tested on that Wednesday night - the final night of our course.

Study Finds High-Fructose Corn Syrup Contains Mercury

2009-02-10T21:23:00.002-08:00

I actually kind of skimmed this when I first read it, because we never eat anything with HFCS in it. But then I realized that lots of folks I know DO. So I am sharing it.

MONDAY, Jan. 26 (HealthDay News) -- Almost half of tested samples of commercial high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) contained mercury, which was also found in nearly a third of 55 popular brand-name food and beverage products where HFCS is the first- or second-highest labeled ingredient, according to two new U.S. studies.

HFCS has replaced sugar as the sweetener in many beverages and foods such as breads, cereals, breakfast bars, lunch meats, yogurts, soups and condiments. On average, Americans consume about 12 teaspoons per day of HFCS, but teens and other high consumers can take in 80 percent more HFCS than average.

"Mercury is toxic in all its forms. Given how much high-fructose corn syrup is consumed by children, it could be a significant additional source of mercury never before considered. We are calling for immediate changes by industry and the [U.S. Food and Drug Administration] to help stop this avoidable mercury contamination of the food supply," the Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy's Dr. David Wallinga, a co-author of both studies, said in a prepared statement.
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In the first study, published in current issue of Environmental Health, researchers found detectable levels of mercury in nine of 20 samples of commercial HFCS.

And in the second study, the Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy (IATP), a non-profit watchdog group, found that nearly one in three of 55 brand-name foods contained mercury. The chemical was found most commonly in HFCS-containing dairy products, dressings and condiments.

But an organization representing the refiners is disputing the results published in Environmental Health.

"This study appears to be based on outdated information of dubious significance," said Audrae Erickson, president of the Corn Refiners Association, in a statement. "Our industry has used mercury-free versions of the two re-agents mentioned in the study, hydrochloric acid and caustic soda, for several years. These mercury-free re-agents perform important functions, including adjusting pH balances."

However, the IATP told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that four plants in Georgia, Tennessee, Ohio and West Virginia still use "mercury-cell" technology that can lead to contamination.

IATP's Ben Lilliston also told HealthDay that the Environmental Health findings were based on information gathered by the FDA in 2005.

And the group's own study, while not peer-reviewed, was based on products "bought off the shelf in the autumn of 2008," Lilliston added.

The use of mercury-contaminated caustic soda in the production of HFCS is common. The contamination occurs when mercury cells are used to produce caustic soda.

"The bad news is that nobody knows whether or not their soda or snack food contains HFCS made from ingredients like caustic soda contaminated with mercury. The good news is that mercury-free HFCS ingredients exist. Food companies just need a good push to only use those ingredients," Wallinga said in his prepared statement.

More information

The U.S. Agency for Toxic Substances & Disease Registry has more about mercury and health.

SOURCE: Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy, news release, Jan. 26, 2009

deliciousness in a glass

2009-01-24T20:53:00.000-08:00

You might note the happy family above enjoying their delicious smoothies. It is my first recipe that I created all myself! Woot! And of course I am going to share it with you:

Deliciousness in a Glass

meat of one young thai coconut
half the water of one young thai coconut
1 cup filtred water
1 heaping Tbs raw honey
1 cups frozen blueberries
2 frozen bananas
1 Tbs bee pollen
2 tsp vanilla

Blend all in Vita Mix and ENJOY. Because you SO will!